We’re SO sick of hearing that rape is no biggie.
As women, we're told to be strong — but to also keep an eye out.
We go to the bathroom in groups, avoid parking lots at night, cover our drinks at parties. Since we were little kids the message has been, "you are not safe." It's engraved in our brains and screamed in our faces.
It's no wonder we have trust issues and debilitating fears of being hurt. We're expected to live our lives in a protective bubble, and unsurprisingly, that gets old. Fast.
We get tired of looking around every corner. Exhausted by interrogating every person we interact with. We just want to live.
So, we let our guard down and attempt to be humans for once, trying to believe that the world isn't as ugly as we've been told. We lie to ourselves, and say that those things would never happen to us.
But sometimes, they do.
And when the unthinkable happens, we're reminded again of that message to be strong. That the world wants to protect us.
The message has been preached by our parents, teachers and government for decades now. So, one would assume, that when the time came to actually step up and protect us, the world would.
Well, Kesha has been an ugly example the system is actually failing to protect us.
The singer infamous for her glittery no-fucks-given attitude broke down in tears during a setback in her fight against her producer, Dr. Luke (a.k.a Lukas Gottwald), whom she accused of a 10-year period of abuse and assault. Without an injunction, Kesha's only options are to end her career, or work with her abuser.
The judge denied the singer's motion for a preliminary injunction — entered prior to determine the merits of a legal case, in order to restrain a party from moving forward — saying: "My instinct is to do the commercially reasonable thing.”
The reasonable thing? The reasonable thing would be to stop treating Kesha like she's just a product for sale, an inconvenience in the way of a corporate giant's profits.
I'm sure we can all agree that breaching a contract is wrong. But I would like think that we could also agree that ignoring sexual abuse is wrong. And forcing someone to chose between their passion or working WITH their abuser, is also very, very wrong.
This case is sending a strong message to women, and it's one we're all tired of hearing. A message too many of us can relate to, maybe even famous women. After all Taylor Swift just donated $250,000 to support Kesha's efforts to get free of Dr. Luke.
We get it. We're not safe. And sometimes we feel like we might as well just lock ourselves in our apartments and live out the rest of of our days looking out a window, because no matter what precautions we take or don't take, we will be hurt.
And if we try to get justice for our pain, we'll be hurt again.
Instead of showing us the hundreds and thousands of ways that we're in danger, why not try showing us that we're not alone? That maybe, if something terrible did happen, we'd have people in power to back us up?
Because right now, the only message I'm getting is that nobody is interested in doing the REAL work of keeping women safe.