She'll be swooning for you in no time.
By Carey David
Since the beginning of time, man has searched for a partner. There was Eve for Adam, Cleopatra and Julius Caesar, and Juliet for Romeo (that didn’t work out so well!) Oh how things have changed and stayed the same!
Now, you’re not the type of man looking to skim the surface. You’re the kind of man that is looking to drop anchor and enjoy a deep and mutually satisfying relationship. You’re not looking for a one night stand and want to be more than a +1 for the nice lady at the office who needs an escort for her nieces wedding.
A word of warning. This is not the Jiffy Pop popcorn approach. It is not fast, it is not easy, and it will require time and effort on your part. Not to mention using the head above your belt line.
I know men. I am one, and for better or worse, we are attracted to shiny things. Now, there is nothing wrong with appreciating a woman for her beauty, but if you are content to plant in the sandy soil of lust, real love will never take root. Let’s take a look at a few steps on how to build that relationship you are looking for.
1. “To thine own self-be true.”
If you haven’t figured it out, how do you expect her to? You don’t have to have all the answers. We are all a work in progress, but you should have some idea who you are, where you are, and where you want to go even if that course changes over time. What happened the last time someone tried to change you? Oh, I thought so.
2. Know how you want and need to be loved.
Since my separation and divorce, I found out a great deal about myself by reading, The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend reading the book. At least, check out the app to find out what your love language is.
Love may be the universal language, but it sure is misunderstood. Once you understand what you need, you can start to observe your intended’s behaviors to understand what love is to them.
I mean really communicate. Honestly. How many times have we received an email or a text and read between the lines, made an assumption, and were completely wrong? I have.
Take a chance on upsetting the apple cart and asking the tough questions when you have them but in kindness. Do you want to sweep it under the rug and find out later after you’ve invested so much time in a relationship? Man Up! Find out now. Not everybody fits.
4. Friends first.
We’ve all heard it. Sounds like a plan but few of us have made enough deposits in a relationship to warrant a withdrawal. I’ve been guilty of this myself. We’re too busy trying to run from the first date to the altar.
Remember–shiny things–Jiffy Pop? Yeah, I thought you might. This does not happen overnight. Take your time. It’s on your side. I’ve had a few women where I had romance in my mind, and they didn’t, and through the process of open and honest communication we have remained good friends.
Do these things; know who you are, know how you want to be loved, communicate openly and honestly, and build a friendship first. There are no guarantees but the regrets we have in life are not usually for the things we did try, but for those things we did not. Babe Ruth was not only the home run king but the strikeout kings as well.
Who knows? When it comes to love, this could be your–Game, Set, Match!
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.