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Sorry, you're just not girlfriend material.
By Bob Alaburda — Last updated on Mar 01, 2023
Relationships require a TON of effort. That's why casual dating exists. You want to try people on for size before you settle in and really make a go of it. Sometimes, you can tell right away and other times, you might date for a while before you decide the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Either way, you get a good story out of it.
That beginning dating phase is essentially just a test. You're dipping your toe in the water to decide if you can handle the plunge.
And during that test, you're looking for two sets of evidence: things that make your heart say, "Oh, hell yes," and things that make your head say, "You're an idiot, heart."
We call the latter, red flags, which seems pretty dramatic. But they serve an important purpose — protecting ourselves. Opening your heart isn't easy; you can't just let anyone in there before you know they'll treat it delicately.
Here are six unsexy habits that make him not worth your time:
1. He openly talks about the other girls he's dating
Quite simply, he's not concerned with hurting your feelings. If he were looking for a relationship, that certainly wouldn't be the case.
2. You only hear from him for booty calls
He's only thinking of you when he's horny. He's not daydreaming about you all day, thinking about the perfect way to make it official. If he was, you'd talk about more than just when and where to have sex.
3. He disappears for long periods of time
This says he has no interest in keeping you interested. If he's not thinking about you in the long term, he's not thinking there's an "us" in the long term.
4. You never meet his friends
If he's not going to spend time getting other people invested in you, then he isn't invested in you.
5. You have no hobbies
Sorry, happy hour and Netflix don't count. No real hobbies, activities, or passionate interests is the hallmark warning sign of an emotionally needy person.
If you have nothing else in your life, we'll be the ones solely responsible for your happiness, and that's unfair. If you want someone to love, you have to BE someone worthy of it.
6. You have no job
We all want a partner, not a dependent. Things happen and it's a tough economy, but it's a red flag. Financial burden aside, being unemployed and not working toward a career could mean a lack of forethought, planning, drive, and independence. We want someone who has their life together, has ambition and goals, and is working to make their life a solid one.
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Bob Alaburda is a senior editor at dvm360. His work has appeared in the Huffington Post, Ravishly, and more.