Are we or are we not?
Netflix and chilling, cuddling, or canoodling serves as the stepping stone to a potential long-term love connection for some. Bring the Chipotle, a Rom-Com and a bottle of wine, and the evening is off to a hot start.
These ambiguous terms have come about before in the dating lexicon — "friend zone" and a more recent phrase, "dating a la carte." These suggest you can get your various needs met with different companions. But the phrase that's championing seems to be "we're talking."
Have you allowed this ambiguous relationship zone to become the vice grip to your hearts desire, keeping it from seeing the commitment you journal about? We want to clarify what "we're talking" means, and how this phrase might describe your possible companionship:
1. You focus on faults instead of positive traits.
If you highlight his need to call his mom five times a day or hang out with the fellas as negatives, so will your best friends. Having the desire to speak well about your beau shows you take your own dating life serious.
Dating with a purpose honors your time and your companions. Consistency is key to showing others they should trust your new friend.
2. You had sex and can't deal with your emotions.
Confusion over whether you're in love or lust can make you hit the brakes. The sex was amazing but his lack of calls leaves you baffled. Get your mojo back because your weakness for his cologne and late night phone calls won't vanish.
Create post-it-notes to organize your desires. Leaving your emotions and body up to chance with no plan will thwart a possible good thing.
3. You aren't sure if you're in a relationship or not.
He comes over five nights a week and has two coats in the closet. You call him for help, advice, a quick laugh and company at auntie's house on Saturday. Expectations are rising and your heart is telling you a title will bring security. The question friends want to know simply repeats as "Are you two a thing or not?"
4. You've raised your standards.
You hit the home button on the phone every three minutes. No text, call, poke on Facebook, or Snapchat direct message, but you pretend not to be pressed. After all, you two are just having fun, right? You assume he has plans for you. You deserve to know where you stand and where the relationship is going. You don't have to date for two years to get a commitment, nor do you have to evoke the thirsty "What are we?" ultimatum.
Adults know when the stakes have been raised. If you're dating someone who values you, they won't risk losing you to anyone else. "We're talking" is a moment, but not where the magic happens.
Know your aim before you take flight on this love journey. You can recall the many times being dragged with no strings attached hasn't worked out for you.