Once upon a dark time, the men I dated had chicas attached at their hips. My then-boyfriends, crushes and flings just had a slew of female friends, ex-girlfriends and other flings (two-timing bastards!) at their beck and call.
Why, I remember how hurt I was when “Luke’s” ex went to his mother’s house. I wanted to march over there and piss all over the living room couch. I needed to mark my territory!
But what if the woman who is interfering in your relationship is your amiga? Here’s how to deal when a friend has a thing for your man:
1. Talk to her pronto.
Communication should always be your first step. Talk to your friend first. Give her specific examples of what she has said and done that has crossed the line.
If she is touchy-feely with your hombre, demand that it stop. If she talks with sexual innuendos, or blatantly brings up sex acts and experiences for attention, nip it in the bud.
When you speak to her do so in a firm tone. Don’t be soft or buddy-buddy. Then she won’t take your demands seriously.
2. Limit your interaction.
Whether she’s your college BFF or you connected in a playpen as babies, you might have to stop hanging out with your friend. That’s the case even after you speak to her.
You will have a strained friendship. The energy between you two will be awkward and uncomfortable. She will feel like more of an acquaintance than a BFF. And you won’t trust her like you once did ever again.
3. Talk to your boyfriend about the situation.
Sometimes the shady friend is your man’s friend. If this is the case, discuss it with your boyfriend, and ask him to set clear boundaries with her.
You should still speak for yourself. Once she hears it from both parties, she’ll stop the inappropriate and disrespectful behavior. Si no, move on to the next step!
4. Separate her from your hombre.
If you just can’t let go of the friendship, hang out with her without your man — one-on-one or at a girls' night.
Again, don’t spend time with her often. You must distance yourself from your friend as she has crossed boundaries. And she wants your man! Well, maybe she just has a crush or finds him extremely attractive, and she won’t actually act on her feelings.
No matter the case, don’t give her any opportunity to flirt or otherwise come on to your guy.
5. Don’t invite her over.
Your home is your sanctuary. Whether positive or negative, people bring energy into your space. You don’t want the amiga that desires your man all over your sofa! Her jealousy may run so deep that her negative energy affects your relationship, especially if you live with your significant other.
Also, if you invite her over, she just may manifest your breakup. You know, like throw a hex or pee on your carpet while you’re in the bathroom. It’s been known to happen!
This article was originally published at Latina. Reprinted with permission from the author.