Proust! 5 Scientific Ways Drinking Beer Makes You BETTER In Bed

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beer makes you better in bed
Self, Sex

Is there anything beer CAN'T do?

Dreams really do come true, and a whole lot of men are about to get very happy. Apparently, drinking beer makes you better in bed, at least according to an article on AskMen.

Did I just hear someone cracking open another cold one and smiling?

RELATED: 5 (Healthy!!) Reasons You Should Definitely Drink More Beer

Instead of affecting a guy's sex life in a negative way, the news that beer can be a positive for a guy's sexual performance is a game changer. The timing couldn't be better, since not only are we in football season, but it's also the time where consuming massive amounts of beer isn't just tolerated — it's encouraged (Oktoberfest, anyone?).

So, dudes, it's kind of your moral obligation to drink like you're in high school behind the bleachers or you're in college. Let the bros, jocks, surfer dudes, and frat guys celebrate what they hoped was true all along: that beer makes you better in bed and is healthy and magical, or magically healthy.

Life makes a little more sense now. Here's how beer can make you better at sex:

1. It makes you last longer.

Premature ejaculation is often caused by anxiety and stress. Having a beer or two will help you relax, and lessen some of your tension. Also, phytoestrogens in beer can be helpful in delaying ejaculation.

2. Dark beer gets you in the mood.

Dark beer actually has more iron than light beer, and iron increases red blood cells and circulation, allowing for easier arousal and more frequent erections. 

3. It's heart-healthy and improves endurance.

Studies show drinking a pint of beer a day decreases the chances of having a heart attack, stroke, or heart disease. If you combine beer drinking with exercise, you not only make your heart healthier — you build up your cardio endurance, helping you to go the distance in the bedroom.

RELATED: 15 Reasons Drinking Beer Makes You Live Longer, Says Science

4. Guinness, specifically, has antioxidants.

Antioxidants clean up the circulation system. By keeping your plumbing clean, it allows for the healthy functioning of the vital blood vessels and capillaries necessary for healthy sex functioning in the penis. Which is good, because Guinness is delicious.

5. It boosts your sex drive.

Fifty Shades of Green, obviously inspired by the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, is loaded with 50 different hop varieties, ginseng, ginkgo biloba, and damiana (nerve stimulator) to enhance performance.

Go ahead and crack open another brewskie. It's good for you and will make your partner happier, too.

 

Check out the video below for the short- and long-term health benefits of drinking alcohol:

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Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.