Is it wrong to wish he was a few pounds lighter?
When I met my boyfriend, he had a two-pack, worked out four times per week, and ate healthy. He was only working part-time, so he had a ton of free time and used it to exercise. He'd send me photos without his shirt on and hot damn, my vagina would get excited.
But then, three months later, he landed a full-time job and his time became limited. He was either hanging out with me or working. There wasn't much time to fit a workout into his schedule because he worked 12-hour shifts.
First, he started working 7 AM to 3 PM, and then it changed to 7 PM to 7 AM, which absolutely destroyed him. Because his job as a waste water operator required him either sitting or standing all night, his body obviously didn't appreciate that.
He lost a lot of weight and looked ill. His two-pack was fading fast, but what could I say? How could I complain he wasn't putting enough time in when he walked around like a ghost?
I let the weight gain slide. His health was slowly getting worse and his doctors diagnosed him with Lupus. But, later, we found out he actually didn't have Lupus; it was a misdiagnosis; he was just suffering from serious exhaustion.
Thankfully, he was switched to a 7 AM to 7 PM shift and he felt better because he wasn't sleeping during the day. He started working out with me again and little by little he started to gain weight.
During this time, we lived with his parents so he was always tempted by the goodies they had in the house. And even though his sleeping got back on routine, his eating habits didn't change.
He lost weight in his arms, legs and face — but not in his belly. I wanted him to shed his tummy, but I also didn't want to push him.
When he was presented with a new job opportunity that had him work 10 AM to 6 PM, I was finally at ease. We would have time to workout and engage in activities we couldn't do when he worked his other schedule.
During this new job, he gained at least 15 pounds ... and it went all to his stomach. I've always said I'd never date a guy with a paunch. I know that sounds shallow, but hey, it's the truth.
When I broached the conversation with him about losing weight, he told me he wasn't interested in "working on it." I said, "Well, do you not care about looking good for me?" And he told me his physique doesn't matter as much now that he "has" me.
I became annoyed because in a round-about way, I was suggesting he lose the gut. But I wasn't giving him an ultimatum — and, of course, I wasn't going to leave him because of it; that would be shallow.
I'm still physically attracted to my boyfriend, but I do wish he'd shed some of pounds. You can practically see the extra fat when he's wearing a t-shirt.
I'd like for him to have his two-pack again but he just doesn't seem to want to put in the energy. He no longer has the desire and you can't make someone do something they clearly don't want to do.
He keeps telling me he's eating less and I'm starting to see definition return to his stomach. But he tells me there's no way he's going back to how he was because he doesn't care as much or have the time.
And, well, that makes me... absolutely disappointed.