7 Signs You're Not Anti-Social — You're Just Pro-YOU

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It's not party time — it's me time.

I have a reputation. No, it's not for being difficult or treating people in the service industry like crap — my reputation is for leaving (when a social event is over) extra fast. 

If I'm doing a spoken word show or I attend a show a friend of mine is in, I force myself to stay as long as it takes to say hello to a few people. And then I'm out of there.

It's a rare occasion when I close any place down. I don't believe I've ever been the last to leave a party, and I'd bet cash money that I've never, ever over-stayed my welcome.

Some people might say that I'm anti-social or that I don't like people, but that's not it. I like people just fine, I just like myself better, and my needs come first.

I need me-time at home so I can decompress, de-stress, and regroup. If I don't have lots of time by myself, it makes me anxious, irritable, and cranky. These are 7 signs that you're not anti-social; you're just pro-YOU:

1. You're not hurt when you're not invited to a party — you're relieved.

Now you don't have to do all the pre-party prep work like take a shower, do your hair, and think of conversation topics. You can put on your sweats and take some deep breaths, and just chill out.

2. You don't get upset when plans are postponed or cancelled.

You actually couldn't be happier that you weren't the one who had to reschedule. It's a win-win. You can do what you really wanted to do all along, which is binge watch Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp and not look like anti-social asshat.

3. You have time to do every stupid quiz on Facebook, but can't grab a drink after work.

Sure, maybe it's not that important to find out how much of a One Direction fan you are, or who has a secret crush on the person who has a secret crush on you, but sometimes it's important just to do something that doesn't take a lot of brain power or social skills. 

4. You don't believe that strangers are friends you haven't met yet. 

It takes you time to warm up to people. You aren't instant friends with anybody, because like good wine, good friendship takes time. You take friendship seriously, and are a friend for life.

It's true that you can count your real friends on one hand, but you also know that they'll always be there for you.

5. You think avoidance is a good move.

If you see someone you kind of know walking towards you, you have no problem crossing to the other side of the street or suddenly getting involved in an engrossing one-way phone conversation to avoid the potential awkward encounter. You don't like feeling uncomfortable, so avoiding it is always plan A.

6. When someone asks if you have plans for the next day, it feels like there's a gun pointed at your head.

You like the person who's asking and you'd probably enjoy the activity, so why do you immediately have a headache or stomach issues just thinking about making plans? You know what's best for you, and sometimes that's to have some time by yourself.

7. Weddings make you tired.

You're happy for the bride and groom and for love itself, but it's going on hour three and you just want this celebration to be over. There's no way you're staying for the cake-cutting, the bouquet-throwing, or the waving to the happy couple as they drive away parts.

It's time for you to think of your poor, tired feet, your tired-of-smiling face, and your exhausted psyche. You've use up all your social bandwidth, and it's in everybody's best interests for you to go home, especially yours.

Some people are social butterflies and others aren't. Whatever you need to do to take care of yourself is good, just try to get out occasionally. Human interaction has its benefits, too.


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