How to be the woman everyone looks up to.
They're the movers, the shakers, the "boss ladies" who keep moving forward, regardless of what life throws at them. Today we're celebrating the strong, powerful, passionate women who take goal-getting to another level.
Here are 25 traits that help them shine:
1. They know positivity and pep are two different things.
Save the Pollyanna memes for another wall. These women know there's a huge difference between someone who's truly happy and someone who's walking around with a smile on their face, spewing positive phrases they have no real connection to. One is able to find contentment, even in chaos while the other is making a desperate plea.
2. They work hard, play hard and rest hard.
It's necessary to have lazy days, but a lazy life is inexcusable.
3. They trust themselves.
There's something deep down inside of you that cannot be contained, defined, or even understood by anyone outside of yourself. That something is called "intuition."
Being your own best friend doesn't mean you're always "nice" to yourself. Sometimes it means being your own parent, coach, and confidante.
It means wiping your own tears and pushing yourself to get up out of bed, or off of your knees to go back out into the world and fight for what you want and believe in.
Sometimes it's about standing up for and defending yourself, even against your own demons and vices. Sometimes a "best friend" is a source of unconditional tough love.
5. They take risks.
Sitting in your tower, taking in the same mental picture over and over may protect you from pain, but to confuse stagnancy with contentment would be a dire mistake. One must get out there and risk being bumped into and shaken in order to fully live.
6. They don't extend a bad childhood.
One doesn't choose their childhood; some are naps and bedtime stories, and others are nightmares full of ghouls and beatings. It's a coin toss who your parents are, and what they do has nothing to do with you.
But the beauty of a life all your own is that childhood is only a couple decades long. We live in a time of great information, and we can seek the people and resources you need to undo the damage as best as you can, and create an adulthood that's entirely of your making.
7. They need to experience something new, and often.
They're acutely aware that an entire city can become a hamster wheel if you walk around it often enough.
8. They're future-focused.
They know their thoughts about the past will never change it. Spending all your time focusing on what was just keeps your future in debt.
9. They infuse their lives with love.
When you feel unloved, the foundation of the world is fragile. They know that nothing will ever work if they don't learn to love themselves, and doing the work to get to that point saves them from being knocked around (and down) by inevitable disappointments and rejections.
10. They have a passport (and they use it).
These women know that travel isn't only a luxury; it's a 4-D education. They will save up several years for a bucket-list journey.
11. They believe "yes people" are more toxic than haters.
While they appreciate a compliment, someone flattering them into a coma freaks them out. They know that most of us don't have a very good understanding of our own strengths and weaknesses, which is why surrounding yourself with honest, intelligent, authentic, and sincere people who will call you out as much as they'll cheer you on is essential.
12. They must feel in-sync.
Their values, vision, voice, and actions must carry a constant, vibrating synergy or they take it as a sign they're in the wrong situation.
13. They live an expanded life.
Every time we walk into a room, we carry with us all the choices we've made and experiences we've had. The better and broader the decisions, the better and broader our understanding of others and the room itself.
14. They're over the Cinderella fixation.
In fact, they think the whole notion that we're still quoting fairy tales at 35 years old is pretty maddening.
15. They thrive on being self-sufficient.
They know there are two kinds of people in this world: first, those who will beg and plead for someone to feed them; who will be taught how to fish, be gifted with the fishing pole, and still wait for someone to cook up and serve their meal.
Second, there are those who search for the stick, the string, and feel a sense of real accomplishment when they get that first bite. They're proud to be in the latter category.
16. They firmly believe that waiting for someone to share a life with before you make it great, is a foolish and dangerous mistake.
A better option? Living fully and enthusiastically, and attracting someone who vibes with your best you.
17. They view friendship as something more than happy hour and Facebook connections.
These women believe friends are the family they choose, and they give 100 percent to their friends, expecting the same love, respect and support in return.
18. They don't rest on their laurels, and they don't let those around them rest on theirs.
19. They understand how to get their point across effectively.
Experience has shown them that the loudest point isn't always the strongest one. Sometimes it's less about power and more about precision.
20. They will apologize for their behavior, but never for who they are.
21. They're always working to make themselves better.
What some call reinvention, they see as development. If you're the same person you've always been, doing the same things you've always done, you're missing out on the point of being here for more than a year or two.
22. They don't see independence as a means to stop doing things.
Getting up without a purpose isn't freedom to these women.
23. They're OK with letting go.
One must be willing to lose everything they are in order to become the best possible version of themselves.
24. They have a strict "no commitment-phobes allowed" policy.
They have an "in" or "out" mentality. When they're in, they're all in; when they're out, that's it. They appreciate those with the same approach.
25. They're grateful.
They're grateful for the opportunities that have found them, and that are waiting to be created and discovered. They're grateful for the people in their lives, but mostly for life itself.
These women love being alive, and as a result of their sparkling, creative energy, they're the ones who get to enjoy several lives in one glorious lifetime.
Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Editor-in-chief and Digital Content Strategist at Preston Bailey Designs, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. Facebook: BrendaDellaCasa, Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa, Instagram: @BrendaDellaCasa.