2 HUGE Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce, Says Psychologist

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Don't ignore them.

Marriage is tough, so it's hard to really evaluate whether or not your relationship is heading toward divorce. In the beginning, you might find yourself freaking out after every disagreement or argument, with the false 50 percent divorce statistic lingering at the back of your mind.

Psychologist John Gottman spoke at University of Washington, says Business Insider. He revealed that you shouldn't be two worried unless you both are doing two things: being stuck in a negative cycle and not resolving your disagreements.But how do you know whether you're just freaking out over nothing or you're truly in trouble?

1. Having a cycle of negativity.

"Early divorce is predicted by partners who get stuck in a negative cycle and aren't able to repair the relationship," explains Gottman. "For these couples, entering negativity is like stepping into a quicksand bog. It's easy to enter but hard to exit. You see that their repair processes — [the techniques they use to makeup after a conflict] — are failing."

Once you start associating your spouse with more negative feelings than positive, you should start to worry. Your spouse should be your partner, lover, and friend; negativity could irreversibly break those bonds.

2. Not resolving your disagreements.

You might think a good way to settle an argument is to agree to disagree, but he says that this might be well-meaning, yet harmful.

"With couples who divorce later, this results from people agreeing to disagree ... withdrawing from conflict. They can stay together longer, but then around midlife they start having this realization that their life is very empty."

Gottma's advice is clear: don't be passive. Talk it out with each other until you come to a good resolution. In doing this, you won't have to go over it again and again, and you'll make your marital bond even stronger.

Sounds like pretty solid advice to us. After all, communication is extremely important in all relationships. If you aren't communicating properly, or not at all, you're setting up your marriage for failure.



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