I Asked My Exes How Good I Was In Bed ... And They Didn't Hold Back

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The results did NOT disappoint.

I asked several guys that I've had sex with how good I am in bed. 

Call it "confidence," but I had no qualms about asking them. I'm an avid porn-watcher and my goal is to make my partners incapable of forgetting my prowess.

However, I did feel slightly awkward posing the question for two reasons. First, I didn't want to seem like I was fishing for compliments, because I wasn't. Secondly, I was concerned that it might make them slightly uncomfortable. (Look at me — always putting everyone else first.)

I'm still friendly with most of the gentlemen I've gotten horizontal (and vertical, actually!) with, so I had no problem asking such a loaded question.

Upon making this request, I also told the boys that I'm bulletproof, so they could be brutal in their honesty. I asked them not to placate me with fluffy statements; I wanted real and unfettered.

I got some sweet, if generic, answers, and I also wound up having a sextacular weekend with one of my former partners because I asked this question.

The names and some of the minor details have been changed to protect their privacy, but it's OK; I know who they are and how they rank. (And clearly, I now know how I rank with them.)

Without further adieu, here we go:

1. Trent

I had a long-term, long distance relationship with Trent and we were super close. We even spoke in our own language made up of song lyrics and comedian phrases. Everything and everyone had a nickname or code name.

At one point, I thought he was "the one," so much so that I planned to uproot and move cross-country because I was convinced that I'd be with him for the rest of my life.

I traveled to Los Angeles every six weeks for two years. Because we didn't see each other daily, we would have sex immediately and all weekend long — on the floor, in the shower, in the bed; wherever the clothes came off, whenever we could, and however often we could. But we also did fun stuff like go to Disneyland and concerts.

He's married now and we're still friendly, despite the fact that it took me an awfully long time to get over him. So, when I asked him, he admitted he was surprised to be getting this question from me, but that he would happily participate.

He said sex with me was "passionate and intense," comparing me to an engine that purrs, which I liked hearing. But I did wish for a little more detail. He also said, "We had some great times together that I won't ever forget." That warmed my blackened heart. 

And he called me by the affectionate, non-sexual nickname he used while were dating. That was nice. As for me? I was changed on a cellular level when he ended things.

2. Todd

Todd is a good friend and we've had had the most unforgettable Hall of Fame sex together. He's the best sex partner I've ever had because of how attracted I am to him and how he makes me (and my body) feel.

Everything about him turns me on, from his breathing to the way he twists me up like a pretzel. I pretty much look at him and want to get naked, which is even sexier, since we always lock eyes during sex, both intercourse and oral.

Our connection is pretty electric and he's the only guy I feel comfortable talking dirty with. That is, I don't feel like an idiot the next morning when we're having breakfast.

When I asked him, I was at once anxious to hear his take on our shared sexual experiences, which I think about often when masturbating. 

He had an encyclopedic and seriously detailed memory of everything we've done and we've had sex dozens of times throughout the years. His catalog was impressive. But a lot of what he said is not printable. 

"Epic" is how he described our sexual escapades. He praised me for my kissing ability and the fact that I want to be pleased and am eager to please him, calling my outward desires "both sexy and a turn-on." That's important to me, because I like to please equally and I would do anything he asked me to.

Todd also told me that it's readily apparent that I watch a lot of porn. That's a win for me, of course.

He admitted, "I definitely think about our past experiences" when masturbating. 

He said, "You're eager and that's attractive. Some girls don't act like that, but you do, and that turns me on. You know how to make me hard." He also said if we lived in the same state, we'd be doing this a lot more. Sigh.

3. Aaron

I'm not really in touch with him, and I don't want to be, because we were kids who treated each other like crap. I don't hate him since that would require effort; I just don't care to know him anymore.

But I said, "Screw it, and asked him. I asked for one sentence, since I didn't want much more. He said that I was "daring." Since I did something with him once that I never did with another partner, I'll take that as a compliment.

4. Ripple

He's one of my best friends and we rarely speak of the very brief time we hooked up. We messed around and eventually became BFFs, and that was probably always our destiny.

When I brought up that we'd had sex, it was through gritted teeth, since we never, ever talk about it.

He said, "Are you acknowledging that we had a moment? It ironically provided the foundation of our friendship. It was full of humor, good feelings, lots of intelligence, and complete irreverence."

He went on, "The good part is that it provided an interesting connection between people who respected each other but [it] remained very unspoken... to the point where my ex-wife became your best friend and she still doesn't know about it. The sex was really good and super-fun, though. I took it as a big compliment that you liked me, but in some weird, egotistical way, felt like, 'I can't hurt her feelings!'"

Feelings were never hurt, by the way. If the friendship was a byproduct of our dalliance, then it was a good thing.


This is just a sampling of the people I have been with. There are several others, some of which I'm not in contact with, and one who declined to comment simply because of his current relationship situation. So it goes.


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