What happens between-the-sheets stays between-the-sheets.
I know a woman who doesn't trust many of her kind. "Especially not around my husband," she’s confided in me with a wag of her finger.
You see, she believes that women may want to steal her man if she discusses their sex life. So, she only allows a few chicas in her home. Honestly, she only trusts me to spend time with her honey, because I am familia. And not the BFF kind.
My prima is jealous by nature, but her mama also taught her to keep women at bay. "You can only trust family," she often says to me, "but not all!" My cousin has heard one too many stories of a hermana who cheated with a brother-in-law. Needless to say, she's thrilled she doesn't have sisters.
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When she first expressed her concerns, I thought she was insane. I was also single. Now that I'm in a healthy, committed relationship, I'm much more protective of my man. I don't give women the evil eye, but I do keep the sex talk to a minimum.
I refuse to share intimate details of my sex life with my amigas, and here’s why you should, too:
1. They may get curious.
You tell a friend that your man is hung, and now she wants to take a look. She may not want to sleep with him, but her curiosity is piqued! When she is around your hombre, she keeps checking out his package. Or she’s asking you to see your sexts.
So, don’t tell your friends he’s hung like a horse. Even if your amigas like small penes, it will be difficult to look away from his Johnson.
2. They may get sick of you.
If your man is amazing in bed, and you tell the friend who has a terrible or non-existent sex life, she may get jealous. She may even think you're bragging about your relationship, and get sick of all your sex talk. This can put a strain on your friendship.
Yes, she should be supportive and happy for you, but it's difficult to cheer someone on when your love life is identical to a monja's.
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3. They will treat your man differently.
Now that your amigita knows what your man is carrying (and what he does with it!), she may just flirt with him. On the other hand, if you disclose that your guy is bad in bed, your BFF may just laugh at your hombre and make him feel like less of a man.
No matter the status of your sex life, your friends will treat your man differently.
4. Your sex life is between you and your guy.
When men talk about sex with the boys, they dish on women they don't care about emotionally. Locker room talk is solely about one-night stands and casual sex. On the contrary, men hold sex with their significant other in high regard. They protect it and the intimate details, because it is an intimate act. Besides, they don't want any of their boys to get any ideas about you.
5. They may want to sleep with him.
When you share intimate details about your sex life, your friend may get so curious that she will want to sleep with your man. It happens — and not only in Lifetime movies.
I actually have a friend in Miami whose BFF slept with her man. "I never thought this would happen to me," she said. "I trusted her like a sister, and told her everything." And that's why, from this day forward, I will take my crazy prima's advice. My mouth will remain shut unless it's familia — well, some of it.
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This article was originally published at Latina. Reprinted with permission from the author.