4 Steps To Finding The PERFECT Guy When You Just Want To Hook Up

casual hookup

If you knock on 10 doors, one will (theoretically) open. So get knockin'.

By Jasmine Leigh

Casual encounters with a stranger can sometimes be hard to find, despite the large number of willing singles guaranteed to be near you right at this very moment. Fortunately, the internet provides each and every one of us — regardless of looks or charm — with the opportunity to "sell" ourselves online to a suitable (or completely unsuitable, as the case may be) woman, man or “other.”

Lots of men are signing up to hookup websites like Tinder and Adult Friend Finder, making it easier than ever to find casual sex partners who are on the same page as you. But don’t get complacent; you have some hard virtual challenges to overcome first.

Here are some tips on finding casual sex partners online.

Step 1: Get an identity.

To help you out, men want to find someone attractive, funny, intelligent, interesting, and fun to be around. First impressions last the longest; your profile is your sole 30 seconds at most, and the image is the first 20. When it comes to finding casual sex partners online, you won’t get any second chances, so make it good.

Step 2: Get online.

Some of the best dating sites host people from all over the world who are offering themselves up for all sorts of things, including casual sex. The key is to find someone who is looking for the same thing as you.

Start by signing yourself up on one or more of the various websites. You'll need to complete a profile and fill out a couple questionnaires and/or quizzes to help establish your best matches.

We also recommend signing up to certain dating sites that are targeted toward your particular needs. If you want to find someone with life experience, you should check out mature dating sites. If diversity in your relationship is a priority, you should look into some of these best interracial dating sites.

Step 3: Get chatting.

Essentially, the “if you knock on 10 doors, one will (theoretically) open” protocol works here. So, get knockin’. This means e-mailing or messaging, expressing your interest in getting to know them better.

Don’t expect to be welcomed by every person you talk to, but don't let that discourage you. Be charming, respectful, funny and keep some mystery about you — finding a casual sex partner is not about getting to know each other’s favorite food, color and pets’ names.

Stepe 4: Go dating.

When you feel the time is right, ask a woman you have built up a rapport with on a date in a public place. To make the very best first impression, make sure to think up some fun date ideas before you meet. These dates lay the groundwork for whether or not you eventually get laid.

Keep it casual! How you negotiate the online maze of relations all depends on what kind of person you are. It can be easy to get lost, so keep it simple, keep at it, and adapt when necessary. Don’t tell fibs, and make sure to always treat others how you would expect to be treated — with decency. No matter what either of your intentions are, finding casual sex partners online can be very rewarding, and you may just end up with more than you bargained for.

Happy hunting!


Virtual Destinations:


  • Cost: Standard membership is free, Silver is $29.95 USD per month, Gold is $34.95 per month
  • Registration process: Just choose your name and enter your e-mail
  • Photo upload: Multiple
  • Membership: Not given

You won't have to wait long before you start receiving invitations and messages from potential partners.


  • Cost: Free
  • Registration process: Answer a few questions and build your profile
  • Photo upload: Multiple
  • Membership: Not given; 100,000–300,000 log-ins per day

Very popular site with compatibility questionnaires, quizzes and a busy forum. Online chat available.


  • Cost: About $30 USD per month
  • Registration process: Fill out your profile, get chatting right away
  • Photo upload: Multiple
  • Membership: Over 17 million

“Scientific matching” via compatibility questionnaires and quizzes. Percentage matches with people using interests and personality traits.


  • Cost: Free to join, but to communicate with other members it will cost you $29.95 USD per month
  • Registration process: Provide general details, profile, interests, etc.
  • Photo upload: Multiple
  • Membership: Over 53 million

Definitely one of the major dating sites to check out, as its overwhelming member numbers will guarantee you find matches pretty much wherever you are.


  • Cost: $17 USD per month
  • Registration process: Provide basic details for profile
  • Photo upload: Multiple
  • Membership: Over 20 million

Kind of like the mud fight of the online dating world, AFF is where you'll get the most bang for your buck (pun intended). Here, you'll get more than just sex.

This article was originally published at AskMen. Reprinted with permission from the author.


Explore YourTango