Make no mistake: Being married has never been easy. But things just got even more real.
Make no mistake: Being married has never been easy. But for some reason, it feels as if marriage is on a completely different playing field today. Couples don't just struggle with basic communication, sex and parenting issues. Now it's that PLUS everything else that the modern world throws at them.
When an already stressed out couple hit's a rough patch, it can be dooms-day-city. In fact, with the divorce rate skyrocketing as high as fifty percent in some cities, it's super scary to think about WHY so many couples are calling it quits.
Is it true that the odds of staying married are worse than they were in the past?
Well, in truth it's not that black and white. The facts are that fewer people are getting married but those marriages are working. In fact, the divorce rate is actually falling. But even in the light of those positive statistics, when a couple hits one of the many predictable snags in their relationship, it can be hard to stay the course.
What gets in the way? Truthfully, all too often instead of taking the time to figure out what's really going on, we ignore the problem in the hopes that it'll either solve itself or just go away.
And that right there is the biggest problem!
Host Dr. Tammy Nelson, Imago Institute's Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Psychotherapist Dr. Jamie Turndorf, Spiritual Psychotherapist Tracy B. Richards and Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg stress that even though the expectations that come with being married in today's age can end up weighing you down, there are ways you can fight against them.
Where should you begin?
Be realistic. Having a vision of what you want your marriage to look like is important, but you have to be flexible. Happiness comes in different packages. If the only way you can see yourself in a happy marriage is if your spouse makes a certain amount of money, or you have a certain number of kids or live in a certain size house... well we're here to tell you that is a recipe for for failure.
The reality is that in a study by Raw Story, scientists found that, "eighty-six percent of young adults in the United States expect their marriages to last a lifetime, even though half of all marriages end in divorce."
Still not convinced?
Researchers at Northwestern University found that, "Just as Americans have increasingly looked to their marriage to help them fulfill higher rather than lower needs...they have decreasingly invested the time and energy required to help the marriage meet these expectations. The amount of time that childless Americans spent alone with their spouse declined from 35 to 26 hrs/week from 1975 to 2003, with much of this decline resulting from an increase in time spent working."
This should go without saying, but instead of just coming into your marriage with expectations, you must put in the necessary effort to get there. Martial happiness takes on all shapes and sizes in the modern world. Ultimately, if you're really serious about making things work, you have to take the lead and do something about it.
Watch the video and afterwards we want to know: what do you do to keep your marriage working? Have some advice for our readers? Leave it in the comments below.