So... Your Ex Got Engaged: 7 Ways To Be The BIGGER Person


First, take a deep breath.

When you have a tendency of attaching yourself to every commitment-phobic narcissist in the neighborhood, it stings just a wee bit extra if they get engaged before you. Are there appropriate paramaters for reacting? Absolutely.

1. Show how over him you are.
We’ve dealt with a DECADE now of Jennifer Aniston being bemoaned in the media as the jilted ex. The girl who was dumped, the girl who is not Angelina. How has she survived? By dating a string of ridiculously hot men, and looking younger now than she did then. The media still gives her a hard time but she doesn’t give them ANY ammunition.

2. Reflect on all the reasons you hate him.
This is a great way to psych yourself up. When we have job interviews, sometimes we think about all the reasons the job isn’t for us before the meeting – that way, we won’t be nervous. Same applies here: Remind yourself of all the reasons you broke up, and all the ways he was a terrible partner. You’ll remember why you are glad NOT to be the one engaged to him.

3. Don't gossip online.
In the age of social media, the news will be everywhere by happy hour. This is especially dangerous if you still share friends, or are friends yourself on Facebook. Their news feed becomes front and center in your life. Hide the feeds. Do not comment on anyone’s comments. Why keep him front and center in your life any longer than he deserves to be?

4. Get drunk.
Or not. But don’t sit home and cry. Make plans for a ladies night out. If you cry and feel sorry for yourself, fine. But do so in the trusted company of your girls … over the best martinis you can afford. You’ll get it out of your system and feel better in no time.

5. Realize you aren’t alone.
Hence the reason for drinking with your girls. You have great friends, family, and a fabulous puppy. Whatever. You’ll find your future mate but right now, you have plenty of people still in your life who want to make you happy.

6. Don’t drunk text (or drunk tweet).
This is not the time for the “Why wasn’t it me?” drunk text at the end of the night. In fact, if you think this is a risk, maybe have one of your girls hold your phone for you.

7. Be happy for him.
Yes, it’s incredibly difficult right now – but at one point, this person was very important to you. Maybe you parted friends, maybe you didn’t – but be glad they found happiness. It may just be how you let go and find your own.


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