21 Things People Without Kids Are Grateful For This Holiday

happy couple

One incredible perk? Not having to stand in line for the "it" gift of the year.

As someone who doesn't have kids, I give myself a high-five on a daily basis. I am, completely and utterly free. My life isn't bogged down with having to be responsible for someone else, and I can literally do whatever I want, whenever I want, because I'm not obligated to a mini-me. While I'm sure a mini-me might be somewhat interesting to know, and maybe even entertaining, too, it's just not my thing. Child-free is the best kind of free.

When the holidays roll around ever year I'm once again reminded of how awesome it is not to have kids. As I look at my sister and my friends with kids, and witness exactly how much their lives are total chaos this year because they chose to procreate, I give a great big sigh of relief. Freedom allows people to breathe deeply along with being able to do whatever they want. I'm definitely not alone in this thinking.

Those of who choose to be child-free have much to be grateful for every holiday season. If you're racking your brain, unable to figure out what those things are, then let me give you a taster.

Here are the 21 things us child-free folk are damn grateful for this holiday season.


Not having to worry about drinking too much spiked eggnog.
No need to stay sober if you don't have to set a good example for your offspring.
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/drunk-will-and-grace-tmwxccWVGIwIU">giphy.com</a>


Getting to rage at work holiday parties.
You're underpaid and underappreciated, so hell yeah, you're going to drink that open bar dry while not having to worry about being home on time for the babysitting.
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/100-party-excited-10nhMCQ0YoOI3C">giphy.com</a>


Not having to fight with the kids about getting dressed up.
For some reason kids just don't love ties and peacoats as much as they should. It's annoying.
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Not having to do boring holiday crafts.

Homemade "Happy Holidays" cards? No thanks.

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Or feign excitement over the paper Christmas ornament the kids made in school.

And it's a… ball of paper? Oh, it's two turtledoves? Yeah… totally.
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Not having to explain the difference between Christmas and Chanukah.

Frankly, since they both involve candles and presents, you're not really sure yourself.
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Or the whole historical reason behind Thanksgiving and the Pilgrims.

So there were some Native Americans living in the New World, and then the Europeans came over, took their land, enslaved them, and systematically murdered them… oh, eff it, where's the eggnog?
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/drunk-oFBKfk1aBK58s">giphy.com</a>


Not having to sit through a Christmas pageant.

Granted, it would give you ample time to get caught up on your emails and Twitter, but still.
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Not having to get embarrassed when the kid freaks out over sitting in Santa's lap.

How the hell are they supposed to get what they want if they cry every time they see the big man in red? You'd think they'd put two and two together on that one.

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Or having to stand in long lines to get to Santa's lap just so the kid can freak out and cry.

Kids, man… ugh.
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/annoyed-side-eye-4oYrJ5tsaQYwg">giphy.com</a>


Not having to stand in line for the "it" gift of the year.

Since you put this on par with idiots who sit in line for weeks before Black Friday, you're mighty grateful for this one.
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/frustrated-gif-annoyed-travel-12HoAGyjbvpAZy">giphy.com</a>


Not having to deal with temper tantrums over giving the "wrong" gift.

Like you're supposed to know there's a difference between Elsa and Anna dolls.
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Being able to spend more money on yourself.

No kids, means more unnecessary and totally useless materialist items for you. YES.
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Not having to deal with the tantrum that comes with putting them at the kid's table.

No, you can't sit in mommy's lap! Mommy needs turkey and more eggnog!
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Not having to pretend to like the macaroni sculpture of you that was their gift to you.

It's a turtledove, right? Oh, no? It's me? Total likeness. Really.

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Getting to sleep in on Christmas Day.

You can open your presents on your own time.

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Not having to keep up the whole Santa lie.

Santa is great in theory, but sometimes when that’s all a kid talks about for weeks, you just want to tell them there is no Santa just to shut them up.
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Going out on New Year's Eve.

Not that you necessarily want to, but it's nice to have the option.
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Getting drunk on New Year's Eve.

By now you've moved on from eggnog to straight vodka, so just drink up, my friend.
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/drunk-uCQFvmCyVTmve">giphy.com</a>


Going home with a hot stranger on New Year's Eve.

It's always good to start the New Year off on the right foot.
<a href="http://weheartit.com/entry/48625921">weheartit.com</a>


Waking up on January 1st, 2015 knowing that the next holiday season will be just as awesome.

Why? No kids!

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