30 Things Smart Women Know By The Time They're 30

birthday cake

Live, love and learn!

1. The end of a relationship does not always have to be someone's fault or a rejection of you. Sometimes, it's just the end of something that wasn't right for you. Actually, it's always that.

2. No one has it all, but some people do make the best of what they have and take very good care of it. Those people tend to savor their lives a bit more.

3. The difference between "crazy in love" and "crazy" is one person letting go. If someone is still holding onto their love for you, show compassion, give closure, and offer kindness. A good character should not change with a title. On the flip-side, clinging onto a cold hand is not going to warm anyone's heart. There are ways to lick your wounds without demeaning yourself. Take time to find them.

4. Your habits today can directly prevent or cause heartache or a heart attack tomorrow.

5. Intense passion usually doesn't last. High heat tends to burn brightly and leave ash behind.

6. Smart is sexy, and anyone worth having sex with will be wildly turned on by your mind.

7. A few childlike traits can be charming, but immature is a huge turn off.

8. Many people are under the misconception that time heals all wounds. Especially the ones they caused.

9. No one is there to be "fixed up" into something else. Just save up your energy and invest it in what actually makes you feel happy and safe in your home and leave everyone else a chance to be found by someone who accepts them as is.

10. Beware the dangers of meditating on both the threat and promise of time.

11. A jealous friend is more dangerous than a blatant enemy.

12. Accountability is one of the best gifts you can give to another and yourself.

13. Time is valuable, so spend yours wisely. This is true even when sitting alone in the space of your own mind.

14. Those who really care about you will support you when you need it and refuse to when you don't.

15. The best way to motivate yourself is to say, "You're better than that" and then prove it.

16. Just because they say it, doesn't make it true (for you).

17. One should not "act" confident. One should work their butts off to become confident.

18. The love of your life should be the loves in your life.

19. Some people really, really, really suck. Trying to get through to them with all of the tools that will work with people who don't suck won't work.

20. You're not perfect. You don't have to be. No one else is perfect either (even if their beds are made every morning).

21. Being victimized is an unfortunate part of life. Being a victim leads to an unfortunate life.

22. We all have sh*t. Getting yours together helps you get into the game.

23. Texting someone is not "making a real effort" and it's not how you build relationships.

24. People lie. Especially to themselves.

25. Focusing on living a life that inspires respect from others is far more fulfilling than campaigning for likes.

26. "Yeah, so what?" is a great way to silence critics, especially the ones in your head.

27. Pay attention to your audience, take a little time, take a deep breath and then say exactly what you mean to say in a way you would not mind printed.

28. We are in this world together, but our lives are traveled on our own. This means you are the only person in this entire world with all of the information surrounding your life.

29. A partner should add to a partnership. If not, it is better to keep everyone else's names off of the operating agreement.

30. The fresh start you have been waiting for has just arrived.


Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. She is usually found in the gym hitting the speed bag to Eminem, having a wine-down with friends or writing with her beloved Chihuahua, Tony Che Montana, by her side. @BrendaDellaCasa

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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