The 15 Awkward Stages Of Spanking

Unless BDSM really is your thing, and you are more than competent with a paddle or riding crop, spanking can be quite awkward. Especially the first time. But we want you to be able to enjoy what is actually a pretty fun act without feeling self-conscious (though we can pretty much guarantee you two will feel awkward you first time; it’s basically a done deal). Anyway, since we want you to be as awkwardness-free as possible, let's review the many strange stages of spanking, so that you don't have to suffer as those before you have. Read on and learn!

1 Broaching the subject with all the finesse of a 5th grader.

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2 The interminable wait while your SO thinks it over, as you try not to look like a total creeper.

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3 Realizing that your partner would be into it, and not doing a victory dance in celebration.

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4 Actually getting up the stones to do the deed, and fighting off the urge to just black out.

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5 Bending your SO over your knee, or getting them into some other interesting position, and stressing way too hard over whether it's going to work or not.

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6 Expecting you two to look like this:

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7When in reality it's a little more like:

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8 Completely losing control of the situation and spanking any part of your SO you can reach, including, but not limited to, feet, spine and shoulders.

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9 Having your drunken roommate bust in on you and try to stay to watch.

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10 Throwing said roommate out and getting back on track, despite all odds.

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11 Waiting for this reaction:

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12And getting this instead:

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13 Lying in bed next to your partner afterwards and feeling the invisible wall between you.

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14 Coming to the knowledge that it wasn't even as vaguely sex as this:

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15 Waking up the next morning, watching your partner favoring their tender ass as they get out of bed and just being all:

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16 Getting this from your SO after you try to talk about it:

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17 And finally, having this lovely moment of doubt:

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