Fair warning, I don't know how to flirt either. But I do know how to fail at it! To that end, here are eight definite signs that you don't know how to flirt. Employ none of these, and you will be on a better path to successful flirting. Learn from those who have come (and failed) before you.
1. Negging. Aka, the art of making someone else feel bad about themselves so they will sleep with you. It's cheap, and it is beneath all of us.
2. Mentioning all the other men or women who are pursuing you. All that is, is a great way to run a potential partner off. Who wants to deal with all that (possibly imaginary) competition?
3. Obsessive Facebook posting. Cool it kids. Keep the posts to a minimum to best avoid looking like Alicia Silverstone in The Crush (or worse yet, Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. No one wants to be known as the bunny-boiler).
5. Avoiding eye contact. Be bold! Once you've started a conversation, make and hold eye contact to indicate your interest (though not aggressively. Find the happy middle ground. See point 3 for likenesses to avoid).
6. Disregarding personal space. There's a sweet spot between standing too far away and standing so close they want to extract you with a crowbar. Find it, and run with it.
7. Drunk dancing. No one wants to see that. Please, if you've had a few, spare us your "skills". No one is skilled after three-plus G&Ts.
8. Drunk texting. 'Nuff said.