If you're the type of guy who, with every inch of your being, holds out for the magical third date when ladies are supposed to finally sleep with you, then you're very, very much out of luck. While sex on the third date was somewhat of an unwritten rule for a while, this is no longer case. According to a new study, women are being far choosier than they used to be. In other words, gentlemen, you need to step up your game.
The study of 2,000 people commissioned by singles247.com found some very terrifying, er, interesting facts when it comes to dating in the modern world and the supposed expectations that women have these days. It's, well, as I said, interesting. Please sit back, gents, and take note, because without doing the following you're never going to seal the deal.
1. There's a five date rule.
According to this study, it takes women, on average, four dates to decide whether or not a guy is boyfriend material. It is during these four dates that women will check off a "mental ten-point checklist," that includes chemistry, sense of humor and trustworthiness. If all looks good, then on the fifth date men can expect to have sex… maybe.
2. Gifts are a must.
Well, well, wooing with material objects is still a necessary staple in the minds for some women, and I say good for them! To be precise, women are looking for at least two gifts or "tokens of affection," before they'll even consider crawling into bed with you.
3. There's a texting minimum.
There must be, and I repeat, 12 text conversations. That's right 12; 11 isn't good enough.
4. Social media is important.
When there's texting involved, you'd think social media would be obsolete, but for some women it is not. And it is for these women that receiving at least five messages via Facebook or Twitter is a must! Not to judge, but who are these people and where do they live?!
5. Movie viewing is essential.
Since women have an easier and quicker time deciding whether or not a guy is for them, there’s no place like sitting in the dark, silently watching a movie to make such decisions. Makes sense, right? So how many movies should be watched during this waiting period for sex? Three.
6. There's also the need to use your phone to … talk.
What the wha--? People are still talking on the phone? I thought that went out of style when the text was invented? Either way, guys, you need to have at least five phone call sessions. You know, on top of all that texting and social media messaging.
7. There must be seven kisses.
We're not just talking about kisses, but passionate kisses. Like the type of kisses you see in the movies where someone runs to another person, hopefully in the rain, and smothers them with truly passionate, big fat, wet ones.
8. Emotional communication is key.
Whether you're giving a play-by-play about the night you lost the big game a la Friday Night Lights style or recalling your grandma’s apple pie, having an intense heart-to-heart where you really put yourself out there FIVE TIMES is the stuff of a future perfect relationship.
9. There must be the consumption of food together.
Well, of course dining together will happen at least once, but before you start thinking that a Nathan's hot dog on Coney Island counts as a meal, you better check yourself. According to this study which, I'm sure, is literally blowing your mind by this point, women would like there to have been four meals together. Based on the four date minimum that will procure sex on the fifth date, that means enjoying a meal together each time you hang out. Again: street meat doesn't count!
10. One word: flowers.
Oh! So that's why every bodega in town has flowers out front to buy. See? You learn something new everyday.
In addition to these 10 extremely important elements when it comes to the new rules of dating, men should also keep in mind that even if they can fulfill all these needs, there's more. I know, right? Actually, the rest are pretty standard like not talking about your ex on a date, or checking out other ladies, or being a jackass to the wait staff. However, the most important one of all is don’t be a stinky dude. Seriously. Body odor is the number one turn off for women, so while you may have pulled off the 12 texts, two gifts, and the rest of it, that's where the story will end for you if you don’t get your clean on and stat. So do yourself a favor and shower. Actually, do us all a favor and shower … then get to practicing those seven passionate kisses on your pillow!