Can't Get It Up? Have Him Indulge In Some Viagra Ice Cream

blue ice cream
Sex

And it's champagne flavored, too!

It may be a hard pill to swallow (pun!), but Viagra ice cream is now available. Well, it's available for some people, but not you (sorry!) just yet. But it's only because you're not an "A-list celebrity," so don't get your panties too much in a bunch over it.

Although details are sketchy, because of this elusive A-list celebrity's involvement, here's what we know: this fancy shmancy customer contacted the South Wales ice cream company, Lick Me I'm Delicious, and requested that inventor, Charlie Harry Francis, come up with Viagra ice cream for a party that he, Mr. A-List, was throwing.

As Francis explains it, "All I'm allowed to say is it was for a party and that they were very happy with the end result and that I made 'the required amount'." That "required" amount means 25 milligrams per scoop, and with the usual recommended dose for most patients being 50 milligrams, that means these party goers were able to indulge in two scoops of this champagne flavored treat. I mean, if you're going to pay someone to create a Viagra ice cream, you might as well insist upon it being champagne flavored — only the very best for this erectile dysfunctional A-list celebrity and his equally erectile dysfunctional guests.

While there's nothing quite like dessert spiked with your favorite "happy" pill, I can't help but wonder why the ice cream was requested for a party. What sort of party is this? Of course, immediately my brain goes to an orgy of sorts, because how could it not? And what about the ladies at the party, if there were any, were they told to steer clear of the blue stuff? Perhaps, go eat some pink dessert instead that’s somehow meant to add in their sexual dysfunction areas, too? But then again, Sex and the City's Samantha Jones took Viagra and it did wonders for her already insanely high sex drive.

I just can't help but imagine something out of a Mad Men episode when Don Draper goes out to California and ends up at one of those hippy-dippy parties where everyone, coupled or not, is fair game for the sexin'. But I also can’t help imagining that at this Viagra party there isn't a man under the age of 70, which leads me to think about my grandparents and the fact that they might still have a sex drive, and that/s just not a fun thought, and now the sweater my Grammy knit me and blue ice cream the world over will never quite be the same for me again! Even Francis admitted that, "sourcing the Viagra was 'embarrassing'," because who wants to walk into their doctor's off and demand as much Viagra as possible, but "I can't tell you why, because I signed a confidentiality agreement?"

This isn't Francis' first ingenious invention. Last year he created the very first glow-in-the-dark ice cream — something that would definitely come in handy for A-list Viagra guy — and currently he and his team are working on creating flammable ice cream. Because that's just what the world, little children especially, need: ice cream that can be set on fire. Mix Viagra ice cream with flammable ice cream, and you're really looking at a disaster, especially when you figure in the whole thing of an erection that can last more the four hours, one of the many possible side effects of Viagra use. Combustible desserts and never-ending erections? Sounds like a straight-to-video B movie, that Mr. A-List might be able to write one of these days.

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