Would you consider venturing out into a blizzard to pick up a bottle of wine a particularly good idea? Would you do it anyway? I would … depending how bored I was or how the rest of my stock was looking. Let's face it: sometimes the ends (feeling all warm and cozy) justify the means (putting yourself at risk for a frivolous/fleeting desire). Okay, yeah I'm not really talking about wine. I'm talking about a sleeping with an ex-boyfriend.
Now obviously there are certain factors worth examining here, such as: Did he cheat on you? What level of interaction (physical/non-physical) have the two of you maintained since your breakup? How horny are you/can you just watch Netflix and get over it instead? What are the odds of him shooting down your hookup request? YourTango expert Sandy Weiner says to just say no to Ex Sex but I say if you honestly don't think that you'll get hurt, I don't see any harm in getting off.
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Let's break down Ex-Sex into pros and pros:
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Hey…uh, nothing…why what's up?"
"Want to come over…."
Does said ex still live within a 20-mile radius? Perfect! All the more reason to convene. You’ll have just enough time to get sexy (aka take a quick body shower and change out of those Hello Kitty pajama pants), and you have absolutely no reason to ask him to stay over.
That being said, there’s nothing more annoying than texting someone about all of your grand plans to hang out and knock boots when there are thousands of miles separating your pleasure parts. I’m not writing in defense of Ex-Phone-Sex. That’s just unnecessary. Call a hotline.
3. A Tried-and-True Game Plan
There’s no need to worry about what goes where or when/why it goes there. At this stage in the game, you’ve got the logistics covered. Any new moves are just considered a pleasant surprise(...hopefully).
4. Hungover Sunday Afternoons
Sunday is only considered a day of rest for people who have their lives together. For the rest of us, it serves as a day of reflection—where we can eat a lot and feel sorry for ourselves while we try not to think about the bad decisions we made on Friday and Saturday. What’s that? There’s one more bad decision calling my name? One that thinks I’m pretty and already knows that I’m going to be annoying before/after/probably during our hookup? No. Brainer. (Bonus points if he brings food).
5. Maintaining the Same "Number"
Personally, I stopped caring about my "number" back when everyone stopped remembering theirs, aka junior year of college. But if you're one of those people who still thinks it matters, then sleeping with your ex is like multiplying your number by one — there's little to no effort involved and in the end it doesn't really change anything. Just to clarify: I'm not saying that I don't care about the amount of people I sleep with (Hi, Mom). I'm just saying that I probably won't actually ever tell anybody, because it's juvenile and none of their business.
I’d be lying if I said that sleeping with an ex-boyfriend in the past was the best idea I’ve ever had, but I don’t necessarily think that was the worst one either. The key to mastering the Ex-Sex Game is to span your hookups out appropriately. And remember, if he says he hasn’t slept with anyone since your last hookup, he’s probably lying.
Be smart, use protection, and NEVER call him more than once a weekend.
What do you think of ex sex? Tell us in the comments below.
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