When are his finances a dealbreaker? Do we really all want to marry millionaires? Ladies get real.
Money is a tricky subject. Most people will tell you that the three major topics people should never talk about are politics, religion and money. The former two are discussions that lead to debates that can never be won, and the latter one, money, just seems to be rude. Whether you have it or you don't, money is topic many like to avoid on dates.
This week for "What Women Really Think …", we asked ladies how they felt about men and money. Is it a turn off if a guy can't manage his money? Are we likely to judge men on how and what they spend their money on? Do we really all want to marry millionaires? Can money buy love after all? Oh, how the ladies had some serious input on this subject.
Hey, big spender! You better know how to be generous, and leave your stingy ways at the door.
"He doesn't need to be rich, but has to be generous, and spend wisely. I don't care for someone with a huge credit card debt, as that seems like plain stupidity. So, yes, it's important how he manages his money, as it just shows how he is with everything else," says Mieko, 36.
"How a man spends his money is his business, but I can also say that because I believe in keeping our finances separate. However, if I go out with a guy and he's cheap about it, then is even cheaper when tipping, then no thank you. There's nothing more off-putting than a guy who doesn't tip well," says Lynne, 31.
"Two comments: I don't need a guy to be rich by an means, but he does need to be able to support the style of life he choses to lead. And I don't like a guy who's stingy — he doesn't need to be dropping money all the time, but someone who does the math on a restaurant bill that's less than $20 down to the penny … not my thing," says Meg, 32.
"Generosity in any form — tangible or intangible — is a very attractive trait in a person," says Megan, 29.
"Being outright cheap when you have the money is annoying. Go to descent restaurants, not just the inexpensive ones, and tip well. I hold myself to this set of standards as well," says Jessie, 28.
Spoiling us is cool, but not a requirement. We can do that on our own, thanks.
"One thought: It's nice to be pampered, but certainly not expected. Second thought: If I'm looking at you as a possible life partner and your finances are a mess (terrible credit, immense amount of debt and accruing even more, or you lie about your money), I view that as a red flag," says Alexandra, 25.
"You know, money is one of the things couples fight about the most. We keep our finances separate. Our rent and bills are split down the middle, and I don’t even know exactly how much he has in the bank. He still likes to treat me to a nice dinner on date night — occasionally he will let me pay — and we have never had an actual fight," says Jen, 41.
Managing your money is really sexy.
"I don't care whether someone has a lot of money or not. But terrible money management bothers me. (God, I am a walking Swiss stereotype)," says Tanya, 35.
"No, he need not have a lot of money, but he does need to know how to manage the money he makes, live within in his means, and NOT be making plans on how he’d like to spend my next paycheck. Being treated is nice, but absolutely not expected," says Jen, 34.
"He needs to be able to support himself and his lifestyle. Budgeting and overall sound financial management equals attractive," says Thal, 25.
But sometimes we do have some income minimums after all.
"Yes to dropping cash! In all directions! I don't care if he’s a rich; he just needs to make more money than me," says Amanda, 24.
"Guys should at least make about equal to me and have great credit and no bad debt. A retirement savings is important, too," says Gaia, 36.
And sometimes we know, for a fact, that you'll never make us much as we do, but we deal.
"If all I'm looking for is someone to date, then splitting the check is great. Gifts are unnecessary and his income doesn't matter. But if I'm considering a long-term relationship with a guy, how he responds to my wealth, whether he has any of his own or not, absolutely matters. We need to have the same financial goals, and he needs to be able to contribute proportionally to them. I would actually have no problem being the breadwinner of a household if my baby daddy stayed home. But a guy without a solid career who's financially unstable and can't afford to do at least some of the things my income allows me to do? Hells no," says Diana, 35.
Well, there you have it, gentlemen. We don't need to be showered in gifts, nor do we need you to be making mad bank, but what we really need is for you to step it up when it comes to managing your money. And, as it was pointed out more than once, tip will. Never walk into a restaurant if you don't have the money to compensate the waitstaff for their service. Ever. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker and a half.
Does money matter to you? Tell us in the comments below.
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