What His Favorite Band Reveals About How Good He'll Be In Bed

Dating in New York is a biyatch. Or to be more precise, dating in any large city where there are any number of people who say they are one thing (upstanding young gentleman) but pretend to be another, (pathological liar) is muy difficulte. Aside from asking the obvious questions, like "Do you have any mental illnesses I should be aware of?" there often isn't a clear way to discern if someone is loonier than Kanye West or just really into leather jogging pants.

Unless you ask them about a band they love. Discovering what one's favorite band is equivalent of diving into their SOUL. It's a fast forward to everything you've ever wanted to know about them from their sexual habits to their take on life. Unfortunately I've learned this the hard way. I've tried to be open-minded musically speaking, but that's just gotten me bad sex and mentally unstable people.

So when you're getting to know a person, get all Cliff Notes on them and ask what their favorite band is — before you get it on.

1Mumford and Sons = He's Shady As F*ck Unlike many other rock snobs, i mean aficionados, I don't have any beef with Mumford and Sons. But let's take a minute to realize this band only hit big in 2011ish. Your favorite band cannot be one that came into known existence two years ago unless you are 13! A grown adult whose favorite band is only two years old is shady and questionable at best. Case in point: Mark was obsessed with Mumford and Sons. He was also obsessed with his ex. He loved to listen to "Little Lion Man" and "I Will Wait" on repeat.

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2Led Zeppelin = He's A Sex Fiend. This person has one thing on his mind; S-E-X OK that's not totally true, but someone who is into Zep leads their life in a sensual way. They live life to the fullest. After all save for the three songs in the Led Zep catalog that aren't about screwing, this is one band that has dedicated itself almost entirely to their loins. It's not such a bad thing unless you're a prude, just be ready to get down all the time. Case in point: Dex lived for Led Zeppelin. He's traveled the world from Sri Lanka to Peru, smoked cigars, believed red meat and scotch are good for you and he shagged like a champ.

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3Pearl Jam = He's Not Very Original. Considering the following bands exist: The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Nirvana, and Metallica — Pearl Jam is just a pathetic choice for a fave band First off prior to the formation of Pearl Jam, the members were actually in a group called Malfunkshun (awesome name!). They later formed Mother Love Bone, a band that sounds like a cheap take on 80s hair metal. Then Eddie Vedder entered playing the part of faux brooding, tortured front man. Case in point: Jay's favorite band was Pearl Jam. At 37 years old he was even in the fan club. He also happened to be the most untalented photographer on God's green earth but thought he was the shiz. And he was as animated as a rock.

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4Pandora = Just Don't. I once asked a date "What's your favorite band?" and he replied "I'm not sure … I like Pandora a lot" Dump immediately. Unless you want a lifetime of the missionary posish.

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