Not totally in the mood, but still trying to make your guy feel good about his bedroom moves? We get it. Women come with fewer guarantees about the grand finale. So is it better to fake the mindblowing climax — or to just play it off?
So is it better to fake the mind-blowing climax — or to just play it off? Here's what the fellas have to say about your performance.
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Turns out he can tell when you're faking it (ouch!) — and you'll never guess how.
Steve, 33, told me that he can pretty much always tell we're not really having the time of our lives. "Our bodies respond organically to the pleasure we're feeling, so even if you're 'moaning' in delight – I can tell it's not the experience you were hoping for." So does that turn him off? "No, because it makes me want to try harder. If I'm being pleasured, I want to do the same for you."
So forget faking it, ladies.
According to Tyler, 29, "We can tell when you're pretending to have the best O ever. All that high-pitched moaning, eye-rolling and fake screaming? A movie could teach any girl how to fake an orgasm. Been there, seen that."
And Rich agrees that the joke is literally — and figuratively — on us. "When I feel like a girl is faking it in bed, it makes my pleasure that more gratifying. If I'm not doing it the way you want me to, or the way that feels good to you, tell me," he says, "otherwise, how am I supposed to know what you want? We have mouths — and voices — for a reason. If you can't speak up for what you’d like to feel, then I actually think I'll pass on a second date."
But not all girls are faking it just because we're scared to speak up (which, I'd like to add, is a gross generalization; not all women are timid enough to choke back the fact that oh, I don’t know,you're not doing it right), sometimes, we just don't know what we want.
"I was sleeping with this girl once," Nick, 26, says, "and I felt the chemistry between us but when it came time for the big O, I felt like her climax was less than rewarding for both of us. Right as she was faking it, she shot me a look that was a dead giveaway it wasn’t a true performance — and I was kind of taken aback by it. I decided instead of being pissed and embarrassed (which, I can’t lie, I was), I told her I wanted to help make it happen for her — for real. We spent the rest of the night trying new positions. It was so satisfying to see her get off and mean it."
Jacob, 22, says, "it's a huge blow to my ego when a girl fakes her orgasm." He follows it up with a look that says Did I really just say that outloud? Yes Jacob, you did – and trust me, women appreciate it. As much as it's a blow to your ego, imagine the hit ours takes. "I feel like I'm not doing something right, obviously, but I also feel like it's sh*tty because she won’t tell me what to do. Maybe she's just as terrified that she’s doing it wrong?"
For some guys, though, it's a total dealbreaker, so for ladies who fluff the O, be careful just who your audience is.
"My girlfriend used to fake her O every time we had sex. I used to joke that she gave the best performance ever — and she'd just laugh along. After a while, I dumped her. Maybe it was tacky, but I didn't want to be with someone who was okay with lying about that," admits Joe, 31.
"If I can't give you want you want in the bedroom, grow a pair and teach me," says Alex, 26, and despite the blatant sexism, he's right. "I don’t know your body like I know my own — so I don't know what makes you feel good or what makes you want more."
If a guy isn't giving you want you want down there, stop what you’re doing and teach him. Show him how you want to be pleasured — and if he still can't get it, demonstrate how to do it yourself. If anything, he’ll learn by watching — and the pleasure you feel will be a big turn-on for him (hopefully).
And if you don’t know how you want to be touched … practice. And hell, who's to say no to free orgasms all day long? Not you!
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