Hint: it's not the ladies!
When I think of "faking an orgasm," I see the image of a woman lying on her back, looking bored and possibly despondent while releasing rhythmic moaning until letting out a loud sigh. I do not, however, think of men faking it. But according to a new study, my assumptions are false: two-thirds of divorced men admit to faking orgasms.
The study, done by researchers at DatingAdvice.com, involved 1,080 men in order to better determine the effects of divorce on the libido. It found that many males faked orgasms with partners, often because they lacked emotional intimacy after such a painful and draining experience like the end of a marriage. Additionally, men between the ages of 25 to 34 were twice as likely to fake orgasms as those between the ages of 18 to 24. So, why is this the case?
The reasons aren't simple, according to M.A., internal clinical sexologist and marriage counselor and YourTango expert Dawn Michael, who says that men change as they age and not simply due to experience. "Their testosterone levels decrease and this not only changes the function of the penis but also the way they feel about sex with a partner," she says. Where a man may have once wanted a one night stand, he is now searching for a true connection with a partner.
Additionally, Michael notes, there are physical stressors that leave men unable to feel quite so secure in their sexual performances — something that can thereby affect that performance quality even further. After getting out of a long relationship, Michael says a man may have developed insecurities regarding his abilities, so "he is not able to have an orgasm from the anxiety and therefore will say that he does to get out of an embarrassing situation." Thus, faking it.
So, how can you help if this is the situation you're in? First of all: be understanding. This may be frustrating for you, but trust me, he is just as upset about it (if not more so). Second, don't stay silent on the situation. Michael says people should "be open and honest when getting into that situation ... this can also help to reduce the man's anxiety and that will help for him to relax and orgasm."
Basically, stop caring so much and your positivity may be reflected in the results!
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