Expert advice for women who are looking to get in the mood again.
If you've got no sex drive, you're not alone. One in three women reports a lack of interest in sex, and more than 40 million Americans in relationships are having no sex at all. Um, what? It sounds extreme, but there are many causes for not feeling in the mood — menopause, losing an emotional connection with your mate, dealing with stress or not feeling good about your body's changes, to name a few. There also are, thankfully, ways to recharge and reboot if you’re suffering from no-sex-drive syndrome. Try this advice from Jill Blakeway, coauthor of Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido.
Embrace your age. Twenty-year-olds may not have your wrinkles, but guess what? They are decades away from reaching their full sexual potential! You have maturity and experience on your side — both key factors in reaching true sexual intimacy. "In a long-term relationship, we have to shift more toward the substantive connections we have with a partner — our thoughts and emotions — to keep the flame lit," says Blakeway, who notes many people report having the best sex of their lives in their 50s and 60s. Blakeway's advice? Nike’s famous advertising mantra: "Just do it." She says, "Sometimes, it works to get back into your body and out of your head."
Try "The Loop." Don't avoid sex because of the five (or 10 or 15) pounds you may have put on over the last few years. "The best sex advice remains self-acceptance," comments Blakeway, suggesting that you not put your sex life on hold for some future day when you'll be at your ideal weight. If you have no sex drive, though, she recommends finding it again with a sexual-energy-boosting exercise designed by the Taoists that she calls The Loop. According to Chinese medicine, this exercise stirs up stagnant sexual energy in the body, and helps you find a place of peace and balance. Here's how it goes (and don't knock it 'til you've tried it, O.K.?):
- Sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
- Imagine a shallow bowl filled with warm oil nestled inside your pelvis.
- Now imagine a tube or straw running along your spine.
- Inhale, and as you do, imagine the warm oil coursing up the tube to the top of your head.
- Hold your breath for a count of three, and imagine circulating the energy around inside your head. You may notice a little "buzz" or sensation of warmth build.
- Exhale, imagining the warm oil flowing back down from your head, across the center of the front of your body, and back into the bowl at your pelvis.
- After three to five seconds, begin again with an inhale. Repeat The Loop about six times.
Read the rest over at Spry Living: No Sex Drive? Try This
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