Dating in New York City. Just the thought of it alone is exhausting. We live by our own rules here in NYC, and when it comes to love and relationships, we're definitely in a completely different sphere as to how we date.
Now do you see why it took the gals of Sex and the City six whole seasons and hundreds (and hundreds) of men before they finally settled down? It's rough out there in the concrete jungle.
At some point, after years of face-palming it, these signs may have crossed your brain or heart.
1. You're over "I never go above 14th Street."
C'mon, dude! What year does he think this is? Has he not heard of gentrification? Any guy who says this when trying to decide on a place for a date didn't get the memo that Murray Hill and LES are practically one in the same these days. Go ahead and say you're not going above 14th Street again. I dare you.
2. You pregame before you leave your apartment.
Let's be honest: he's not picking up the tab, and you know this from years of counting down to the very penny to see who owes what. You're not drunk and in denial over your singlehood, you're just really happy to be on this date!
3. You've fallen in love at first slice.
You have nothing in common with your date—until you have the late-night pizza talk and find out you have similar tastes. Cue the fireworks ... until the pie's done.
4. You know dating someone who lives off the G train is the equivalent to dating someone in Siberia.
When you meet someone in NYC, subway talk will eventually come up. If you're going to date someone, you want to be realistic about how transportation will come into play. However, the one train that turns everyone off from potential love is the G. It's an unreliable ghost train that leads to a Ghost Town (OK, Greenpoint is pretty sweet, but still … the G?!) At which point you explain to him, "Um, yeah. I need to find someone a little closer to the J for me to open my heart."
5. You're no longer impressed by Per Se promises.
Does anyone know anyone (besides your coworker's cousin) who's actually been to Per Se? Or is this the Dorsia of our sick reality?
6. You save cab fare for the way home.
You know if it goes bad, you're not going to want to wait around for the A train late-night when there's wine and chocolate in your apartment to be consumed at maximum speed.
7. Monday through Thursday are date nights.
Why? Because why would you ruin Friday and Saturday? You finally have this dating schedule down. Someone should really pat you on the back.
8. You can accurately predict exactly how a date with the cute boy in Warby Parker specs in the graphic design department will go down.
A few highlights: Roberta's, Nitehawk Cinema and the Levee, if it were still open, but since it's not, he'll bring you to Lovin' Cup where he'll tell you about how he saw Local Natives at Glasslands the night before he realized Bushwick is now Williamsburg and he's probably moving to Bed-Stuy next week. Of course, you'll only have yourself to blame.
9. If he tells you to meet him at Brother Jimmy's or McFadden's, he's under 25
And if he isn't, well then he needs to put the fishbowl down, turn down the Eddie Money and re-evaluate his life. Red. Flag.
10. There can only be two types of men: Big or Aidan
If we can thank Sex and the City for this one, we can also thank your impending breakdown on the HBO show as well. "I'm done with your reindeer games, New York. I am moving to Ohio… or something."
If you had a super dirty dream that your alarm clock interrupts, this is a way to "finish it off" (so to speak)
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