The Power of Intimacy

He Said, She Said: How Do I Get My Partner To Open Up?

By ,

Relationships: How Do I Get My Partner To Share Emotions?
Men and women have some communication differences—but it's not a total lost cause!
Words and phrases that will help your partner share their emotions with you.

Want to get your partner to open up to you emotionally so you can deepen your bond and enhance your intimacy? Some words and phrases can push your partner away, while others can bring you closer together as a couple. Men and women, having some major communication differences, tend to respond to different words and phrases.

"She said," from Jane Garapick:

More from YourTango: Ladies, Your Career Is Ruining Your Love Life

While we're of the same species, men and women communicate very differently. Men tend to use language to make a specific point or convey specific information, while women tend to use language to bond to and feel a connection with their partner.

If she seems distant, here are some simple phrases you can use to connect with her heart and get her to open up to you:

More from YourTango: 4 Flirty Ways To Impress Him In 4 Minutes

  • "I understand how you feel; I'd feel the same way." Words such as this convey that you identify with her, and they validate her feelings, which is what she really wants. She simply needs to feel heard, and to know that you feel compassion for her, so steer clear of trying to fix her problem (which is often difficult, as men are wired to try to help) or offer any unsolicited advice, such as anything starting with "You should…"
  • "Know that I'm here for you, and I always will be." She needs to know that you aren't going to take off at the first sign of difficulties, and that you're in the relationship for the long haul. These words will make her feel secure, safe and comfortable, and will convey to her that you won't abandon her.
  • "I'm on your side. What can I do to help?" Let her know that you are united as a couple, and that it's the two of you against the others (whoever the others are). She wants to feel taken care of and supported, and she needs to know that the two of you are a team.
  • "I don't know where I'd be without you—you mean everything to me." While men tend to want to feel needed, women tend to want to feel cherished. Language such as this conveys to her that you value her and recognize her worth, which goes a long way toward making her feel connected to you.
  • It also helps to show her your vulnerable side by using "I" statements to let her know your feelings, such as "I feel overwhelmed by everything we have going on." If you express your feelings in this manner, she will feel much more connected to you and will naturally start to open up to you with her own feelings.
  • Lastly, if physical intimacy is on your mind, instead of saying "Wow baby, you look hot," try "Honey, you are so beautiful. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have you." Then give her a long, warm hug, holding onto her until she lets go. Then you can tell her how hot she looks—you just dramatically increased your odds of getting what you want. Keep reading...

GO FURTHER TOGETHER WITH MORE SPARKS AT DUREXUSA.COM/GETCLOSER

Learn more about the Liberating Side of Being Together:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jane Garapick

Dating Coach

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at her website www.gettingtotruelove.com.
 

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"

You can also follow her on Twitter @JaneGarapick and "like" her page on Facebook

Location: Alpharetta, GA
Credentials: Other
Advanced Member

Brock Hansen

YourTango Expert Partner

Brock Hansen, LICSW

www.change-for-good.org

BrockHansenLCSW@aol.com

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MSW
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Depression, Eating & Food Issues
Other Articles/News by Jane Garapick, Brock Hansen:

Ladies, Your Career Is Ruining Your Love Life

By

Are you a smart, attractive and successful career woman, but find yourself frustrated that you can't get many dates? And those that you do get don't seem to turn into second or third dates, much less a ring on your finger? Well, you're not alone and new research suggests that it's not your fault you're eating your meals alone in front of ... Read more

Habits of Loneliness

By

Loneliness is usually considered to be the emotional effect of a life situation, the situation of being isolated, rejected, or abandoned. But most of us have experienced feeling lonely in a crowd, or being entirely content when we're all by ourselves. So the emotion we experience as loneliness in adulthood is actually independent of whether we're ... Read more
Recent Expert Posts
Girlfriends

6 Texting Shockers You Must Avoid!

Most of you know how I feel about the digital age, and how it’s totally mutilated the ...

Blues

The addiction to "busy"ness: How to live with more intention

Is the daily routine of life getting you down? Find your passion and live a more authentic life!

Crazy

Guide to Becoming a Soulfull Woman Understand Your Beliefs

Once you understand where your beliefs about yourself came from, you determine what's really YOU

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS