Is Facebook Sabotaging Your Romantic Possibilities?

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Facebook Relationships
A long, hard look at how the social network is affecting your chances at real intimacy.

When it comes to technology, there is no doubt about it: our country is addicted. As someone who sleeps with her cell phone next to her head and regularly keeps her laptop nearby her sleeping area, I can say that I am sufficiently hooked. I love my Instagram, my Twitter, my Facebook, my Tumblr ... I enjoy staying connected and seeing what everyone else is up to. But how are social media platforms — Facebook, in particular — affecting our romantic possibilities?

When it comes to new or potential relationships, people are searching for and evaluating prospects online more than ever. Considering it's actually possible to determine mental illness via Facebook behavior, it's clear that increasingly, our lives are all-too-out-there online.

 

According to online dating expert and author Julie Spira, while it's a good idea to check out a date's profile, you shouldn't jump to conclusions based on your findings. "While he may just be hugging his cousin, you may assume he's playing the field."

If you're out on an actual date with someone new, Spira recommends that you don't ask him or her about every status update or picture posted. In my opinion, this can make you seem not only overeager, but even a bit creepy. Plus, you won't get to know your date; instead, you'll just be relying on what you saw online, thus defeating the purpose of talking and asking meaningful questions.

Spira says that you should not attempt serious discourse early on just because of something you saw online, "If you disagree with their political views, don't bring it up on the first date. You should keep your new relationship conversations light and easy." After all, who wants to be cornered into a debate on a first date?

I once had a guy who had seen an article I'd written tell me that I was wrong about women's reproductive rights. Granted, I was a little happy that he had revealed himself as no longer being a possibility for further dates so early on, but it was still a bit unsettling that he had delved deeply and wanted to argue about it right away. Of course, Spira notes that if something makes you "incredibly uncomfortable, chances are you won’t be a good match online or offline." Keep reading ...

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