A lot of us women feel that if we speak up and voice our needs, about sex or otherwise, that means there's something "wrong" with the relationship. A lot of us women need to grow some balls, or rather ovaries because balls are the flimsiest things ever.
Next time you're in bed with your guy, don't hold back on being honest about your needs and desires. Even if you're going to blush, break out in hives and sweat from anxiety over the topic, suck it up because you have to start somewhere and the sooner you get cracking on it, the sooner your sex life will become the hottest, most sensual thing you can possible imagine.
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Although this shouldn't be breaking news to anyone, an expert on health communication at Cleveland State University of Ohio has confirmed that yes, your sex life is far superior if you have an open dialogue about it instead of "keep calm and fake your orgasms," which seems the be the M.O. for too many ladies out there.
Researcher Elizabeth Babin wrangled up over 200 people, 88 from undergraduate classes and 119 from online sites, to discuss the topic at length and see exactly how communication related to positive sexual experiences. She discovered that the apprehension to talk about sex stirred anxious emotions in some, and that led to the inability to have positive sexual experiences with their partners. Why weren't people talking about sex? Mostly, it came down to the inability to convey what they liked or didn't like, both verbally and non-verbally.
How to fix this? With education and therapy. People need to realize that there's nothing wrong with self-expression, both in and out of the bedroom. In being self-aware enough to voice your needs, you're not only headed toward a better you, but for better relationships with everyone in your life — even that nagging co-worker you might loathe.
As Babin told LiveScience, sexual communication "is a skill and we're not all well-trained in that skill." And we all know that the only way to acquire a skill and harness it to effectively influence your life is practice, practice, practice. You practiced piano when you were little. You practice for your job interviews in front of the mirror. So shouldn't you practice communication, so both you and your partner can experience the explosive orgasms you both deserve?
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I will answer this for you: Yes.
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