The Problem With 'Mommy Porn'

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fifty shades of grey and the problem with mommy porn
'Fifty Shades of Grey' has given rise to the term mommy porn. Here's what's wrong with that.

Mommy porn is a phrase that's been bandied about a lot lately—as we all know—because of the wild success of Fifty Shades of Grey.

But why the term when it's really just erotica? Is it because women's sexuality is still taboo and needs to be categorized? Is it because the idea of women enjoying something as "scandalous" as BDSM is so threatening that it needs to be termed "mommy porn" to diminish its potency?

In a society where sexually experienced women are "hos" but their male counterparts are "players," women are branded as sluts for wanting birth control or bitches because they're aggressive at work, the term "mommy porn" is just another way to demean female sexual desire. 

Categorizing porn as something only mothers would find appealing is a subtle dig aimed at women who are expressing their sexual nature. One would think from all the media hoopla that mothers are sexually repressed bores who are suddenly finding themselves turned on again. Calling the book "mommy porn" is another way of saying this isn't serious. Your desires are silly. It's an innately derogatory term, like "mom jeans." Moms are meant to be put on a pedestal and adored with kid gloves—not sexualized.

"Calling Fifty Shades 'mommy porn' is similar to the way men call romantic comedies 'chick flicks,'" sex therapist Sari Cooper says. "Unfortunately, it is done with a tone that infers that the male version is the real deal while what turns women on is long, involved, complicated and emotionally challenging."

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