3 Reasons Feminists Can (And Maybe Even Should) Enjoy Spanking

3 Reasons Feminists Can (And Maybe Even Should) Enjoy Spanking

3 Reasons Feminists Can (And Maybe Even Should) Enjoy Spanking

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Why feminists (both male and female) are just as likely to like the rough stuff as anybody else.

The book Fifty Shades Of Grey is rocketing up the fiction best-seller charts as well as the underwears of America's women. Because of its content, the book has inspired many essays about BDSM, sexual power and contemporary, American ladies. The most popular essay, thus far, has been from Katie Roiphe in The Daily Beast.

And here come the boo birds. Jessica Wakeman, a friend writing for The Frisky, castigated Roiphe as a person "who both loathes contemporary feminism and does not understand BDSM in the slightest" and thus marginalizes her assessment wholecloth. Wakeman's central thesis was, well, hard to find, but I think she was saying something to the affect of (paraphrasing) "if a modern lady finds pleasure in getting her little bottom paddled, it doesn't make her any less likely to think women are awesome." A sentiment that's impossible to refute.

Wakeman has written before about her own difficulty reconciling the enjoyment of spanking with her feminist views, but I don't think it's that hard, because:


1. We like what we like. Somewhere along the way the neuron that says, "spankings feel kinda good in a certain context" gets flipped, and that's a wrap. It doesn't matter if you love Jesus, hate the board of directors of the company that makes ping-pong paddles or define yourself as someone who thinks men and women should be equal in all things.

2. Sex, even the gentle stuff, sort of hurts. Stretching out the most sensitive part of your body and vigorously slamming it back and forth can induce a few winces. Pleasure and pain, sorry to be trite, aren't too terribly far apart. I've seen a few of you orgasm, and it doesn't always look like you're experiencing bliss. And to be fair, my O face probably looks like I was just shot with a crossbow. Read more...

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3. We don't know funk-all about women's sexuality. Some ladies can only bust if they're laying in one particular direction while one particular act (or device) is being employed, and other ladies orgasm wildly from anal. For all we know, the tendrils we suspect traveling from a woman's clitoris to her G spot could also slither further and farther.

Furthermore, just because you're the person with the riding crop, it doesn't automatically make you the boss, as "power bottoms" can attest. I'd wager that spanking isn't usually the idea of the person doing it. It's nerve-wracking for the "spanker." How hard do I do it? What if I leave a hand-shaped bruise? Will this path end in a dungeon with some porkers masturbating to us hitting each other with soggy loaves of bread? If you are in the position of being a "dominant submissive," you have more power than you'd expect. Even as a "submissive submissive," you have a ton of power in that you can pull the plug whenever you please with your "safe word."

I don't think a woman's employment or social politics really has any influence of what she likes in the sack. Frankly, I developed a theory that any woman who wants to hook up with me probably has daddy issues, likes to have her hair pulled or both. So far, so good, but it's a relatively small sample size (NO, IT'S A GOOD SAMPLE SIZE DARNIT!) and, at this point, probably an awful lot of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Can a lady like it rough and still be a feminist?

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