In this video, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and YourTango Expert Janie Lacy reminds you, first and foremost, that "you are divorcing your partner; you're not divorcing the kids." It's important to remember that divorce marks the end of a marriage, but not necessarily the end of any other relationships associated with the marriage. Your relationship with your stepkids is separate and distinct from your relationship with your spouse.
Janie also advises couples to let the kids know (1) that you are connected to them, (2) how you feel about them, and (3) your desire to stay connected. However, before you do that, there's one critical step that must come first. Want to know what it is? Check out the video above and find out for yourself.