It's not what you fight about, but HOW you fight.
So you've just had your very first fight as a couple and you can't decide whether to give the silent treatment or scream at each other until someone gives in. Just as a good recipe for cake should be followed, so should relationships follow a formula for resolving conflict and problem-solving.
Have you ever asked yourself if your formula is working for you or if your recipe needs changing? These are all things to think about when you're forming your first love connection. No couples recipe is perfect, but some ingredients can be toxic if thrown together haphazardly without being mixed properly.
No one is immune from fighting, and any good relationship has seen its share of disagreements. It's how you handle these times of discord that will test your relationship and show whether it can grow into something beautiful, or remain stagnate and unfulfilling.
Luckily, for most of us, there's a learning curve to help you figure out if your algorithm is working or not. As the old saying goes, "Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side."
Take a step back and examine how you participate when a problem arises. Do you run for the hills and get out of dodge, or do you stay and face your partner head on with claws out and snarling teeth bared? Have you ever been so mad you even forget what you argued about in the first place?
It's hard to see another person's point of view sometimes, but communication is the key to a successful union.
Surprisingly, fighting can actually help you learn more about your partner and form a deep bond to help you avoid future argumentative pitfalls. Of course, making up is half the fun. Conflict resolution doesn't come easy, so let's examine what's involved in setting some ground rules and choosing the right formula to work for your relationship.
1. Admit that you're both willing to work toward resolving an issue.
In essence, agree to admit you both need help in sorting out the details. Commit to making things better in order to build upon your partnership as a couple.
2. Browse dating forums for suggestions on how to handle common arguments.
Believe it or not, dating sites can actually offer insight and shed light on solutions for overcoming new relationship issues.
3. Sit down with each other.
Discuss one particular issue or decide whether you're going to tackle multiple issues. Make sure you allot enough time and the proper place for these discussions. You don't want to bring up an issue about your mother-in-law while she's sitting with you at a family dinner.
4. Brainstorm about how to handle issues as they come.
For example, your girlfriend or wife will meet you for lunch each day and she will commit to coming home early each evening so you can spend time together before going to bed. Or maybe a husband and wife could both agree on working the same amount of hours each day to make sure family time doesn't get neglected.