If you’re having any relationship, engagement, or marriage anxiety, I strongly encourage you to purchase the Conscious Weddings E-course. The website, message boards, and Sheryl’s advice saved my life! I’m now 27 years old. I have been married for a little bit over a year. My husband and I started dating when we were 18 years old and have been together for 9 years. We met in high school and then dated throughout college. We also lived together for 3 years before we got married. I always knew that I was going to marry him while we were dating. I just thought, “I can’t wait to get the ring, then all of our problems will magically disappear and we’ll live happily ever after.” Ha, I was very naive because of all of the Hollywood images that had been put into my head since I was a little girl.
My husband proposed with all of my family around us. My first thought was, “Oh my God, what have I done, we can’t get married, I don’t love him enough. I can’t believe I led him on for 7 years, I’m a horrible person.” What I didn’t realize is that those thoughts were completely normal. I believed the thoughts because I had the thoughts so they must be the truth. This was NOT the case at all but I couldn’t see it at the time. I was normally such a happy, loving person. What in the world was going on? I was now the girl that wasn’t eating, wasn’t sleeping, didn’t want to be around anyone or anything. I couldn’t get out of bed, I sobbed many, many times a day. Where did this amazing person go? What was happening to my relationship? Was I going to run, break my husband’s heart, and not marry him after all we had been through? I went into a deep, dark depression. I was depressed throughout my entire engagement. I had never been depressed before in my life! Now, I was at the doctor getting medicine for anxiety? I was completely different from everyone else, this is horrible. This had to be wrong, this had to be a bad choice. Right?
I found the E-Course after I had been married for several months. After I spoke with Sheryl and all of the people on the message board, I realized that this wasn’t wrong. My reaction was completely normal. I dealt with the extreme anxiety my entire engagement. After I got married I still dealt with mild anxiety for quite some time. However, I used many tools that were provided for me through the e-course. I have now been married for a little over a year. I didn’t realize way back then why I was having the anxiety. I now understand that I had the anxiety because I felt so safe in my relationship. This was the first person in my entire life that I could fall apart in front of and he would be there helping me along. I found out that my fear had a lot to do with my parents’ divorce, my non-relationship with my father, and an abusive ex-boyfriend from the past. I had to work through those fears and accept the fact that my husband was nothing like my father or my ex and that he was not going to hurt me in anyway.
Now I get anxiety very rarely. The anxiety doesn’t really bother me that much because I know that it is just lies. My husband and I have a great marriage and I’m so happy that I stuck it out and married him! We are now back to the relationship we had before we got married, except our relationship is so much stronger than I could have ever imagined. Thank you, Sheryl, thank you message board friends, thank you to my wonderful husband, and I also thank myself for having the courage to make if through such a difficult time in my life.
- Janelle, 27, Pennsylvania