It's been days, weeks, or even months since you and your ex called it quits. And you're fine. You're convinced everything happens for a reason, and you'll be better off with someone else someday. You rarely even think of him.
Until you do.
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And then you want to call him. You want to call him like a diver wants to come up for air after awhile. You want to call him like a crash dieter wants to cheat with a cookie... or an entire bag of cookies.
I know, because I've been there. Anyone who's ever endured a breakup probably has. But for the love of all that is moving on, don't pick up the phone! YourTango Experts have given us five emergency techniques, from mental exercises to getting your nails done, to turn to instead.
1. Identify the Ex Factor—and avoid it.
Let's start with triggers. Something made you want to call your ex. YourTango Expert and Relationship Coach Charly Emery calls it your "Ex Factor" (which is not to be confused with the TV show).
Perhaps you've passed a relationship landmark, like the site of an early date. Or you hear a song that reminds you of your former flame. Or you're wearing his old t-shirt and hanging around his neighborhood, hunting for his rebound. (Don't do that.)
Whatever the case, you've got to do everything you can to identify and eliminate triggers. Sure, your ex could pop into your head at any moment, wherever you are. But don't tempt fate by exposing yourself to reminders. If one finds its way to you, do what you can to turn away. Get dinner somewhere else, change the song on your iPod, pack away anything your ex physically left behind and erase your digital connections online (unfriend on Facebook, unfollow on Twitter, delete from your IM list, etc.). Break Up With Your Ex 2012: A User's Guide
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2. What's the point of calling?
Seriously. Ask yourself why you want to call. It's got nothing to do with, "I'll just tell him this one thing…" Most likely, you're looking to learn something. Does he miss you? Is he dating again? Would he be up for some post-breakup sex?