This question has been on my mind for quite some time, and I’ve recently asked several men, “What is sexy?” This is sort of like asking, “What is delicious?” or “What is quality?” It is all a matter of personal taste and there is no right or wrong answer. How does a woman exude sexiness to a man? Does she need the physical attributes of a supermodel? Should she wear suggestive or revealing attire? Or perhaps an attractive face with luscious lips and perfect teeth? A particular hairstyle? Surprisingly, the most common answers centered not on physical characteristics, but rather on self-confidence and having a certain seductive look in the eye. Clearly, there is much more to it than physical appearance.
While many consider someone like Pam Anderson [or insert another well-known sex symbol] to be sexy, other women with similar physical traits may not be considered sexy at all. Every day we are bombarded with media images which try to ‘instruct’ us on what to like and dislike. Every time we turn on the TV or get on the internet, someone is trying to sell us on a product or an idea. This is done both directly and indirectly. It’s no secret that sex sells. And these cyber-tech hawkers try to appeal to the most primal human instinct using generic images they hope consumers will find sexy. But “sexy” is in the eye of the beholder.
“I believe sexiness is more than physical; it’s about every aspect of her person. When your eyes touch, and there’s a strong connection, it feels sexy. It only takes a moment to know you when you want someone.” – Dan (age 56).
This is so true! As the saying goes, your eyes are windows to your soul. When you lock eyes, deep connections can be made where communication goes beyond words or even body language. You are able to project your thoughts, passions and desires through your eyes. It’s fairly easy to observe how a person is feeling and what their intentions are by the way they look at you. Facial expressions can be very telling, as we are able to discern emotional state and confidence level.
“It’s sexy when a woman makes eye contact, offers genuine smiles, and embodies absolute self-assurance.” – Rick (age 43).
Whether it’s a sexy voice or a sensual smile, a certain scent or the manner in which they move, we can take pleasure in such qualities and find them “sexy” without needing to pursue any further thoughts or emotions about them. Sex appeal may be observed and appreciated like good music or a piece of fine art. And it is the natural mode for attracting a mate.
Jeff (age 40) stated, “Sexy is a look in the eye. It is confidence, balanced with class.” This avid outdoorsman also mentioned that he finds it attractive when a woman isn’t afraid to get dirty. It shows that she isn’t going to be a demanding little princess type. He likes the smell of sweat and dirt on a girl who enjoys hiking, mountain biking and camping. When searching for compatibility in a mate, we are mostly drawn to others who have common interests and enjoy the same types of activities as we do. We all have different standards for a desirable mate depending on what our priorities and personal preferences may be.
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