There are three affective qualities that need to be present and visible for a relationship to last, namely admiration, respect and trust.
1. Admiration: If you are going to share a major part of your life with another person, the other person must have some lasting qualities that you truly admire. It is less important what exactly these admirable qualities are. If the admiration is genuine, it will show in your attitude towards them. They will feel admired. Feeling admired feels great. They will want to stick around.
2. Respect: When you truly respect another person, you will care about their opinions, likes and dislikes, dreams and hopes for the future. You will not put them down. You will not belittle, criticize or blame them. You will treat them well. As a result, they will feel treated well. Feeling treated well feels great. They will want to stick around.
3. Trust: When you fully trust another person, you won’t feel the need to question the truthfulness of what they are saying or make guesses as to whether your relationship is going well. You won’t be afraid of telling them your inner secrets and you won’t fear that your partner will cheat on you when you are not around. Your trust will show up in your attitude towards the other person. As a result, they will feel trusted. Feeling trusted feels great. They will want to stick around.
Dr. Berit Brogaard ("Dr. Brit") has written since 1999 for publications such as "Journal of Philosophy,", "Journal of Biological Chemistry," "Consciousness and Cognition," "Cognitive Science," and "Journal of Medicine and Philosophy". In her academic research, she specializes in rare brain conditions such as synesthesia and blindsight, brain intervention and emotional regulation. From 2007 to 2009 she was a research fellow at the Centre for Consciousness at the Australian National University. She has D.M.Sci. in neuroscience from the Danish National Hospital and the University of Copenhagen and a Ph.D. in philosophy from State University of New York at Buffalo.