We are brainwashed to think women in their late teens and early twenties are the true sexual dynamos
You’ve probably never even thought about it. What impact does this culture have on your sex life?
It may surprise you to learn that the answer is quite a bit.
Our culture provides much of the context for the way we understand the world – such as how we perceive and interpret our experiences, and the expectations we hold for ourselves and others. Our culture influences whether we think insects are good eatin’, if we think going topless in public is appropriate, and whether or not sexual monogamy is reasonable.
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Culture is, of course, not the only influence on these variables, but it is nonetheless a significant one. As a result, you might find it interesting to determine exactly how Western culture impacts who you are as a sexual being. The problem is that Western culture endorses myths about human sexuality which many men and women buy hook, line and sinker. People then become critical of themselves and their lovers when they don’t live up to our cultural folklore.
Today we will examine one such myth: Young women are the more sexual than older women.
We are brainwashed with advertising indicating that it’s the women in their late teens and early twenties who are the true sexual dynamos. But if you stop and think about it, nothing could be further than the truth. The fact is that we have confused fertility with sexual passion and prowess.
That’s because, from an evolutionary perspective, men are oriented to be attracted to fertile women so they could enhance the chances of a successful pregnancy and thus perpetuate our species. However, ladies and gentlemen think for a moment about the skills required to be a great lover. We have to know our body and know what turns us on. We need a general understanding and comfort level with the body of our partner. We must have confidence to allow ourselves to let go and travel deep into the mysterious sexual world we co-create with our lover. We must allow ourselves to relax and receive pleasure, and be willing to do what it takes to gift our partner with sexual bliss. I could go on, but you get the point. These are skills that take time to develop.
The truth of the matter is that most of us are not innately born to be great lovers. Making love is an art form, and as with any art, it requires skill that we hone with time and effort. Thus, it is the women with more years of experience with their own bodies, and the bodies of others, who truly have the best chance at being an amazing bed partner. So, the bottom line? Ladies, don’t be intimated by cultural fairy tales about age and sexuality. If you are young, enjoy the innate attraction you evoke in men because of your fertility. If you are older, wear your sexual life experience like a badge of honor.
Either way, there is much to enjoy between the sheets!
Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist and Diplomat in sex therapy through AASECT. Dr. Brandon is Director of Wellminds Wellbodies LLC in Annapolis, Maryland. She is author of Monogamy: The Untold Story and co-author with Dr. Andrew Goldstein of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido.
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