Celebrities and the average woman alike tend to obsess about what they look like and how others view them. Sometimes, this is fun—like shopping for new clothes or trying different makeup. But other times, it leads to negative feelings like, "I'm not pretty, skinny or tall enough." Does every woman battle with these image issues? 

In this video, Image Consultant, Matchmaker and YourTango Expert, Kimberly Seltzer explains what a lot of her clients struggle with when it comes to their insecurities, and the techniques she tries with them to improve their own body image. Learn why it's better to embrace your positive qualities than to listen to those critical thoughts.

Check out this video and find out the different ways we overcome our body image issues.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hi I’m Kimberly Seltzer with Ask an Expert answering your love and relationship questions.  Todays’ question is: Dear Kimberly, I see a lot of women struggling with their bodies, especially celebrities.  Is this a universal problem and do all women deal with this?

Well the answer is, I work with both men and women, and I have to say women are hard on themselves when it comes to their body image.  And usually the image that you see in the mirror is different from how you see yourself.  So really pay attention to what it is about you that you’re unhappy with.  If it’s something about your body or something about the way that you walk or something about your face, where does that come from?   And often it comes from messages we received when we were smaller and it plays out in our adulthood so it’s something that makes us feel self-conscious as an adult.  But the thing that’s really funny is that when I ask clients to have other people write down how they see that person it’s always vastly different from how they see themselves. 

Another good thing to do is take a video of yourself like I’m doing right now, I’m sure I’ll pick apart this video, or a photo of yourself and look at how you are portraying to the world.  And I bet you’ll see some different things.  I once worked with a woman who really saw herself as ugly and fat and it wasn’t until I got her on video and she played it back that she was surprised, she could not get over how beautiful she looked on camera and it really shifted the way she viewed herself.  And once you shift that you’ll walk through life a little more confident. 

The other thing I help people do is teach them about their body type.  ‘Cause once you know your body type you’ll get clothes that will flatter you and you’ll feel more confident in.  If you don’t know your body type and you keep going into the department stores and trying on all these things and then you’re feeling bad about yourself it’s ‘cause you’re not knowing about what to put on your body.  So, don’t be hard on yourself, embrace all the good qualities that you have, and you’ll be happier for it.

Connect with me at YourTango.com/Experts/KimSeltzer.

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