Feeling Like a Man Again

Harvey loves his wife of 15 years, Sandra, but somehow for ay least a year he had been avoiding sexual contact.  His wife kept reaching out to him and he found himself making all sorts of excuses.  Sometimes he would purposely stay at his office longer than needed so that he could get home late and complain that he had too much work to catch up on.  At other times he would stay in his home office, glued to his computer, until he knew his wife had gone to bed.  Sandra became increasingly upset, angry and then despondent.  She was even toying with the idea of following up on a flirtation with someone she had met at the gym.  Finally, she decided to seek outside help.

 

At first, it appeared as if this marriage had run its course and they would be headed for divorce.  But after watching them together, I could see the emotional pain that each was experiencing and I had the sense they shared a true sense of love and compassion for each other.  The problem was that Harvey had been afraid and embarrassed to tell his wife that something was not right with him physically.  He was not waking up with erections and during the day he was rarely thinking about sex.  Although he still found Sandra attractive, he had no apparent sexual desire - for her or for anyone else.

 

It actually took several sessions, seeing this couple together and then each one separately for their private history and individual bodymind healing session.  When Harvey finally told Sandra what was really going on, the sense of relief in her entire body and demeanor was palpable.  She was so relieved.  That's when the healing began.  Harvey scheduled appointments with both a urologist and an endorcrinologist, discovering that low testosterone was interfering with his sexual drive.  Once his body chemistry improved and his sexual desire returned, I helped them sort through the many miscommunications and unexpressed emotions.  Soon they were hugging and kissing and cuddling like newly weds.  What a joy to watch them return to love.