Throw away the basal thermometer! Baby-making sex doesn't have to feel forced.
As you all know (because I can't shut up about it), my sex life is not exactly fireworks and handcuffs and a regular reenactment of the Kama Sutra. In fact, when my husband and I first decided to throw away the birth control pills and condoms to try for a baby, I worried: I wanted to be a mom so damn bad, but the frequency with which we had sex was definitely lacking, and I often experience pain during sex (though getting creative with lube, toys and positions has helped).
I kept hearing stories of how babymaking sex was just the pits. Women were obsessively tracking their cycles, taking their temperatures and telling their husbands, "Impregnate me now, goddammit! I'm fertile!" Obviously, such niceties as slow seduction went out the window. Foreplay seemed so ... contrived, and every deep thrust was so obviously filled with babymaking desperation.
The thing is, stress can affect your fertility levels, making it even more difficult to conceive (which is a total bummer for those who are feeling stressed out over their low fertility levels). Those who struggle with anxiety are actually 12 percent less likely to conceive during even the most fertile days in their cycle. So when we decided to start trying, I took a deep breath, ordered some Pre-seed (a fertility-friendly lubricant, because—lord knows—my nether regions needed the help), and pointedly refused to go into contortions around all those cycle trackers and basal thermometers on the market.
Amazingly, my sex life has actually improved. But perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised.
Granted, my husband at first resented feeling like a baby-making factory every time I asked for sex. (Calling it "baby-making sex" could have been part of the problem.) But the more we had sex, the more I actually wanted to have sex. Not baby-making sex. Just ... sex. And once it became clear that I was actually (wonder of wonders) horny, he was all for it.
So why did the added pressure of baby-making suddenly make sex so sizzling hot for me? To put it simply, the more you have sex, the better it feels (and the more you want it). Practice makes perfect, and practice also makes for higher libido levels.
Because baby-making forced me to make sex a higher priority — something I found difficult in my pre-babymaking days — sex suddenly became sexy.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did baby-making sex make things even hotter for you? Or was it just plain horrific, and you think I'm perhaps an insane person?