I'm In Love With A Friend. Now What?

It's hard when you think you're fine being "just friends" with someone, but once he enters a relationship, you realize you're not as happy for him as you should be.

Falling in love can be messy—amazingly messy. It's especially so when you fall for a close friend who is in dark about the feelings you've been harboring. Maybe, until recently, you were, too. So, what do you do?

It seems simple enough to just blurt out, "Oh hey, I'm in love with you," but it's not. It's risky to say something (as well as not to) and there are consequences. Before rushing in to anything, here are 6 questions you should ask yourself before dropping the L bomb.

1. Can the friendship survive? If the foundation of the friendship is solid it won't crumble, and you should go ahead and confess. If he is truly your friend, he'll understand. It may be awkward for a few days (see Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato), and even if you come to find the attraction isn't mutual, you'll find you can still be friends. The best-case scenario? The feeling is mutual. The worst-case? It's not. If you don't think your friendship will bounce back or aren't sure you can handle the rejection, then you should probably keep your mouth shut for the time being. Distance yourself a little to cope. Who knows, maybe you'll meet an Ian Somerhalder look-a-like on the subway. Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

2. What do I hope to gain? By telling him, do you hope he'll dump his girlfriend, or that it will help you never to wonder 'what if'? If it's the former and he dumps her for you, are you sure you want to be responsible for breaking someone else's heart? If he's truly the right one for you, hopefully he'll realize his current squeeze doesn't stack up and leave her on his own—or once he gets the signals he's been waiting for from you. If you think 'what if' could lead to forever, it might be wise to try and suss out if he's considered it, too, before laying your feelings on the line. How To Find Mr. Right

3. How do I know I'm not being envious and just want something I can't have? We all know how it goes, wanting the things we can't have. Often they're material like that Marc Jacobs bag you've been eyeing or a fancy new apartment you'll never afford waiting tables at a burger joint. Whatever it is, it's unobtainable and that's what makes it attractive. This goes for people, too. It's natural to be jealous of a close friend's new companion; the good news is that it subsides. Take a minute and evaluate your feelings. See where things go. If you find that it's jealousy, then hold off on acting on it. We promise it will get better. How To Control Jealousy