What are friends for?
I’m sure we have all either been fucked over by a friend or even been on the giving end. So, why not fuck our friends-at least everyone comes out on top-so to speak.
So last night, it started out at 11pm, with me not being able to sleep after about 48hrs of constant work. I was HORNY as Hell! I just couldn't shake it-literally. So I started calling up my past partners to see if we could set up some “do overs”. Their phones were either cut-off or disconnected, but they had their Facebooks! I was stuck. I realized that if I ever wanted to get inside the box tonight, I would have to think outside it. I called up my really good friend who just so happens to be female, and told her about my dilemma. She suggested that I try calling my actual “friends”. Now keep in mind that I have never before attempted anything like this because I usually keep my coffee friends and my Sex friends completely separate.
I shortly realized that this was actually not a bad idea-I mean it could work. I figured that “hey, they are human and everybody need to get off sometime-besides I’m a hell of a lay so its not like there is nothing in it for them”.
My first attempts were kinda rocky. It’s hard to get out of the dreaded FRIEND ZONE and into the in zone. I was met with shock and awe sprinkled with a bit of guilted intrigue. We went back and forth with me trying to calm her fear and anxiety about the situation: you know the “What do you meeeeean, are you serious” with the tilted neck shrug and the innocent doe eyes set atop a genuine smile followed by a girlish giggle (gasp-its so dramatic for no reason). These are the friends with whom you know there is sexual tension; they want it, you want it-but they don't feel like it’s okay. The exchange was exciting. I got a little more advice from my great gal pal. And then I was back on my quest.
On to the Next…
I realized that this was kinda fun and I began to enjoy it. Initially, I was worried about talking to them straight up about what I wanted: SEX. Turns out that my female friends were more cool than I thought.
Most of my friends were surprisingly sympathetic to my cause and even offered to phone up a friend of theirs. Some were out of commission due to “cyclical maintenance” issues but they offered solis for not being available to comply with my request as they did express the desire-much to my surprise. Others were interested but needed to know that it was okay to actually want to say yes, for fear of seeming promiscuous.
I’m not the type to kiss and tell so I’ll leave the details up to your imagination.
I guess when it comes down to it, you never know who your real friends are until you really need them. Besides, if you can’t call on your friends for a one-night stand than who can you call-legally? Sex doesn't have to be complicated; we can just deal straight up, stop all the messy guesswork, and get right down to business. Cause everybody eats, everybody sleeps, and yes everybody FUCKS.
“It’s all apart of the Human Experience.”