Imagine spending one night with a man who opens his heart and intuitively reads your sexual wants...
She said that within seconds of meeting him, she knew she was attracted to him. And over the next two hours as they sat laughing and talking on their first date, their chemistry was so intense, it was palpable. Sleeping With A Man After Divorce
But somehow…somehow, she sensed there was something different about this man. There was just ‘something’ in his energy…the way he looked at her…the way he held himself. And when he unexpectedly reached across the restaurant table and cupped her cheek with his large hand, her response was frightfully strong.
Eyes closed, she nestled her cheek into his palm, lost in the exploration of his fingers. He didn’t hesitate – he knew to immediately get up and slide down in the booth beside her while she was still semi-dazed. He turned his body to her; she found herself oh so close and oh so buried by his energy and massive, hard chest. He lifted her chin and and drew her mouth to his…a soft yet powerful kiss. And though a thought in her head quickly protested, "You’re in a restaurant, get control of yourself!", she couldn’t stop. She was lost in the command of his taste and touch; he was making her his, as if he knew he could meet her every need. Girlfriends, Let's Talk Sex!
They went back to her place soon after, something she wasn’t properly prepped for – kids’ toys were all over the place. But the only thing he noticed was her. ”Show me where you want to go,” he whispered. She pointed…and he lead.
The next few hours they shared were amazing; an exploration, an intimate dance that they alone choreographed impromptu. It’s not that he knew any special manoeuvres, she explained to me thoughtfully. Nor was the sex ’wild’ or kinky in any outrageous way. She said it was all because of his touch - there was just something different about it: strong, sensual, urgent, patient. Even emotional. How did he know to touch me like that? she wondered. He touched me in ways unlike any other. And I hardly even know him.
Afterwards, she felt compelled to ask him questions - for over the past few years since divorcing she’d had other lovers. She’d experienced ‘amazing’ sex with some, too. But not amazing like THAT. Are you always like this with new lovers? she asked, wondering what he made of it all.
He said that he’s not one to normally to fall into bed with a woman so quickly. But when he does bed a woman, whether it’s for the short term or long, he not only gives her his body, he opens his heart to her. To him, ‘loving’ a woman sexually, means tuning into to her deeper needs in the moment - her eyes, her non-verbal communication, her presence, her pauses…and then matching them, responding to them, answering them, and challenging them. He said he couldn’t properly do that if he remained in the physical realm alone – making love to her required his heart and soul. “All I did tonight was mirror and answer the passion, the need, I felt from you, ” he said.
After hearing my friend’s story, I admit I feel both happy and a bit envious of her (OK. perhaps a tad aroused, too). And when I compare it to first times I’ve had with men since divorcing, I can’t help but contrast it. For even though I’ve had great sex with men first time round, our connection was, for the most part, sexual; it was passionate, but driven by formidable lust and physical connection, not sensuality or something deeply intuitive or soul-stirring. Uninhibited Sensual Pleasures: How Open Are You?
Now, I can’t help but wonder: Did my friend possess something special about her that enabled him to read her, know her, give himself to her? Was she open in ways many women aren’t? Did her sensuality somehow trigger a natural response in him?
Or…might it be that this man was of a rare breed? I’m not sure I think most men even capable of making love to a woman like that, not just during their first night together, but EVER.
Whatever the case may be, I sure hope it happens to me some day, even if just once. And I strongly suspect other women might secretly feel the same.
Written by Delaine Moore for Divorced Women Online
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