Going home for the holidays? How to talk to nosy friends and relatives.
When are you going to give me grandchildren?
Why did you break up with Paul? He was so nice.
So, are you seeing anyone?
If you've ever heard a question like this and not known what to say, you're not alone. "I have so many clients who freeze when they get asked these types of questions," says dating and relationship coach and YourTango Expert Marni Battista. Your life is your own, and you should only talk about things you're comfortable sharing. Here's how you can steer clear of these potential social landmines.
What are you comfortable sharing and with whom? The answer to that question likely changes with the person, and/or the amount of spiked eggnog you've consumed. Before entering into any social situation, anticipate what might come your way and decide what you're OK revealing. That way you won't end up telling the family about your "new boyfriend," i.e. the guy who g-chats you but refuses to ever, EVER make plans.
Focus on the positive.
Identify a few things that have happened in your life that you are happy to talk about, says Battista: "If you are a person whose default tendency when under the gun leans toward uncertainty and self-doubt, take time before the conversation to anchor yourself to your values, rights and long-term goals." So when Aunt Honey asks if there's a particular fella in your life right now, answer her right back with an enthusiastic, "Actually, auntie, I've got something way more exciting to announce: I finished top ten in the Marine Corps Marathon this year." Or, "I got a huge promotion at work! I'm supervising 250 people now." We're sure there's at least one thing in your life you'd be proud to share.