Every smart woman knows that making time for an annual physical is a commonsense priority for optimal health. If we were to do the same thing for our marriage this important relationship would stay healthy and strong too. So, if you've never thought about it, I encourage you to think about it. What would your relationship checkup include?
I think about it around the end of the year, as opposed to the first of the year when others are making resolutions for this, that, or the other. The end of the year really works well for me because I'm pensive, and very goal-oriented. Having specific goals for all of the important relationships in my life helps me to manage myself in these relationships—especially my marriage. Now, these aren't engraved in stone, but serve more as guides that help me in my desire to be intentional in my behavior rather than reactionary. Excelle: How To Start Anew In Your Relationship This Year
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A relational checkup is really nothing more than your intentional effort to stay positively connected in your relationship. And, one of the things you can do is to attend to how you talk together as a couple. This is a very powerful and protective strategy for your relationship. Including it in your relationship checkup process can yield big short and long-term results. Excelle: Don't Let Your Relationship With Money Ruin Your Love Life
In the Couple Communication seminar I teach, couples learn that there are four ways to talk with each other…
1. You talk mainly about topics outside yourself, "Don't forget to pick up some dog food on your way back."
2. You talk about yourself, "I think I'm coming down with something."
3. You talk about your partner, "You look tired why don't you go to bed?"
4. You talk about your relationship, "I'm glad you're home early—I really need your support right now."
Which do you think best describes the kind of conversations couples tend to have most of the time? Least? Now, which of the four would you say you engage in most? Least? How you answer depends on the quality of your relationship. Excelle: 4 Tips For Handling Your Toughest Conversation