These may *seem* like dealbreakers but trust us, they're not.
The authors of Undateable — a compendium of 311 things men do, say or wear that renders them, well, undateable — interviewed "hundreds of smart, funny, normal women" in an effort to pin down the top red flags and deal breakers men can be guilty of. Flipping through, however, we began to wonder if the average woman was rendering herself undateable simply by being so judg-y.
Don't get us wrong. The book is, indeed, filled with a number of unfortunate lifestyle choices that would definitely make us think twice before accepting a date. Wearing sunglasses indoors? They're right. Larry David did say it best. ("You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.")
And the use of the phrase "make love" totally makes us squirm. We also loathe "nasty guy talk"; the practice of rearranging one's junk in public; and texting, e-mailing or taking personal calls while on a date. But this books makes us long for that middle ground between settling for Mr. Good Enough and blindly rejecting anyone who's not Mr. Perfect.
Some items we couldn't believe made it into the book?
1. Body piercings, multiple tattoos and faux hawks.
Some of us have a soft spot for this look. Lip ring? Super-sexy. The bottom line? Spray tans are never* OK, but judging wardrobe/facial hair/body modification choices is incredibly subjective.
2. Sleeping masks.
This Love Buzzer teases her husband for wearing a sleep mask (which she bought for him, by the way), but these things can be a godsend for couples who struggle with clashing sleep schedules. Likewise, wireless headphones are totally dorky but also totally useful.
3. Owning a cat.
Some of us are sick to death of the cat lady stereotype. Cats are smooshy and adorable and owning one can be endearing, especially as it provides just a little bit of proof that the owner is capable of taking care of a living thing.
4. Playing Dungeons and Dragons and/or WoW.
We thought that everyone had come to a sort of geek-is-chic consensus. Right...?
5. Owning porn.
While we don't love staring at that Penthouse centerfold when we use his bathroom, we also don't automatically think "perv" just because he enjoys porn. Sometimes, we enjoy porn, too!
6. Preferring BYOB restaurants.
BYOB restaurants are fun and thrifty! We suggest going to a wine, beer or sake tasting beforehand, picking up your favorite bottle and bringing it to dinner as a nice twist on the typical dinner date.
7. Being a serious singer.
Hey! There are some of us here who find singing ability incredibly sexy. And in general, talent = impressive.
8. Having a stack of reading material next to the toilet.
This is just one of the many items that caused this Love Buzzer to do a double take, gasp and exclaim, "But I do that, too!" Other items in this category: road rage and Renaissance Faires.
9. Owning nunchucks.
Buaaahahaha! Undateable was filled with tons of items like these — things we couldn't imagine would ever come up in real life. We appreciated the belly laughs, though.
10. Use of the phrase "cruisin' for a bruisin'."
This one made us smile and think of Grease. Do people actually speak like this?
Author Ellen Rakieten is the executive producer of Jerry Seinfeld's new show, The Marriage Ref. She has also been involved with creating, developing, writing and producing The Oprah Winfrey Show. Her co-author, Anne Coyle, is a design guru.
Have they got it right? Are they missing out on additional dating deal breakers?