Jonah Falcon: Biggest Penis Ever?

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Jonah Falcon: Biggest Penis Ever?
A Q&A with Jonah Falcon, man with a 13.5-inch penis, aka the biggest penis ever.

When our eyes feasted on The Daily Show segment featuring Jonah Falcon, an unemployed actor with a 13.5-inch penis, we too wanted to sink our fangs (not like that) into the story. The man with one of the largest (recorded) packages in the world? Yes, please! But strictly for research purposes, of course. After all, we spend a significant amount of time debating the dubious benefits of size and wanted to chat girlfriend-style about the member likely resting on the inside of his thigh, not too far from his knee. 

So we set up an online Q and A, poured a round of mojitos, pulled up a chair and prepared ourselves for a salacious tell-all. What do people say? Give us examples! Stories! What's it like? Is it uncomfortable? Any complaints? Compliments? Are you really bisexual? Penis Extension Fails Catastrophically

Poor Jonah Falcon.

While it's true he starred in a 1999 documentary Private Dicks: Men Exposed that started it all, has been profiled for Rolling Stone, Out (where he told the reporter he was bisexual) and numerous other media outlets all gaping in wonder at his genetic marvel, it was soon apparent the out-of-work 39 year old has grown tired of being the media's dancing monkey. What he really wants to do is get his acting career off the ground. Serious acting. Not the kind of work involving a pizza delivery boy and lubricant. Falcon has point-blankly declined pornography suggestions because he wants to be taken seriously and was reportedly a bit stung when overlooked for the role in HBO's new series Hung about a male escort with similar below-the-belt gifts. Below The Belt Growth Actually Works?

Here goes:

1.) Are you living at home while looking for acting work?

I moved back, partly because I am unemployed, and chiefly because I'm taking care of a sick family member. When I'm re-employed, we'll be hiring a healthcare professional.

2.) If you don't have an interest in doing porn, why talk about your penis size?

Just something that happened and steamrolled since 1999.

3.) Do all these media ventures help with your acting/blogging career?

They get hits, certainly.

4.) Is it true you consider yourself bisexual? If so, what are the differences in how men and women react to your size?

I don't discuss my sex habits. Men, straight and gay, tend to be more direct and eager to see it. Women tend to be more giggly about it.

5.) Any particularly rude/hilarious/flattering things lovers have said?

Just embarrassing names.

6.) Do you want to share any of these names?

No.

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